Stars Hollow
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Happy New Year 2009!!!
<div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/happy-new-year-2009.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/happy-new-year-2009.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-31T21:40:00-07:00'>9:40 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/1876787747203497556' onclick=''> 2 comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/1876787747203497556' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=1876787747203497556&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/big%20family%20get%20together' rel='tag'>big family get together</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/cousins' rel='tag'>cousins</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Monday, December 29, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='5057767763146989434' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='5057767763146989434'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/words-of-my-mouth.html'>The words of my mouth</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-5057767763146989434' itemprop='description articleBody'> <div align="center"><br />“Lay hold, upon the good things of the Lord. And let your conversation be acceptable in<br />the sight of the Lord. Let me be a minister of thy peace, that the world might see, the love<br />of God in me.”</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">Relationships in general have a way of knocking off the rough corners of our personalities. it starts as children. Our parents (hopefully) purposefully working in and on us to change bad habits and trying to find and encourage the positive side of potentially destructive personality bends. Inflexibility becomes courage and determination. Messy curiosity becomes creative expression. Over-sensitivity becomes the tender heart of a servant. Bossiness becomes leadership. Of course this is the path we *hope* parenting takes... not always the way life pans out. As we make friends, these <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">friendships</span> teach us more about grace, forgiveness, trust and loyalty. Marriage is the first of these relationships that is a truly *chosen* relationship. Many times it is the steepest of the learning curves and brings the hugest training in humility and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">servant hood</span>. When children arrive, every concept we have learned up until that point is put to the test. Can we give up everything we see as a right and freedom to a 7 <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">lb er</span> when even our body has been stripped of strength? I've come to realize that when my parents were trying to train and discipline me, God was working on *them*. It wasn't "teacher/student"... it was a "student/student" relationship. Here is my latest lesson...perhaps magnified because of the extra "get-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">togethers</span></span>". </div><div align="center">Despite distance, my sisters and I have <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">committed</span> to get together as much as we can. In the last few years we've all noticed a change in our ability to have wide open conversation. The last few visits with either of my sisters we have found ourselves severely conscious of listening ears. During one conversation that was verging on sensitive topics, we looked around to find one of the children sitting on the couch behind us, deeply engaged in our conversation. Another time stopping short, realizing that there was a child "sleeping" a few feet away. The other day my oldest daughter, an avid outdoors-girl declined going fishing with her dad because i had company coming over and she said she wanted to "listen to us talk". I don't remember when this happened for *me* as a kid, when listening in on the adults was more entertaining that playing hide and seek in and snooping through my grandmothers' closet, but I know i went through this too. It can be inconvenient for the adults but it can also be <span style="font-family:lucida grande;">refining</span>. :) How many of these discreet conversations could/should be deleted? How many of these conversations are used as a venting of poor attitude rather than an <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">exercise</span> in speaking grace and truth? While thinking about all of these things and looking forward to my sisters' visit this weekend, an old song from my youth group days came back to me and I've been singing it to Wesley when I rock him.</div><div align="center"><br />“Lay hold, upon the good things of the Lord. And let your conversation be acceptable in<br />the sight of the Lord. Let me be a minister of thy peace, that the world might see, the love<br />of God in me.”</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">God, use the words of my everyday conversations to lead my children into your arms. Help them to have a deeper understanding of the love of God because of the words I use. Let my conversation be acceptable in Your sight and for my words to bring peace and not confrontation. Change me again. </div> <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/words-of-my-mouth.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/words-of-my-mouth.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-29T10:20:00-07:00'>10:20 AM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/5057767763146989434' onclick=''> 4 comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/5057767763146989434' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=5057767763146989434&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/children' rel='tag'>children</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/God' rel='tag'>God</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Motherhood' rel='tag'>Motherhood</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Monday, December 22, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfSU6gCaHCugJeBGpuIBrWN9fajnHUu61UDK1-BL1bNQIw7LtObOoIGWeW_fxcBt50zSEOaBvyowG4sf3MWSUlJsi4kP47SeQcmDTjYz5xiwoxUwaNYODCWe2HGb1NkFZkMs55I9FMYjI/s320/October,Thanksgiving+2008+021.JPG' itemprop='image_url'/> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='6492336929006408603' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='6492336929006408603'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/little-waitress.html'>The Little Waitress</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-6492336929006408603' itemprop='description articleBody'> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfSU6gCaHCugJeBGpuIBrWN9fajnHUu61UDK1-BL1bNQIw7LtObOoIGWeW_fxcBt50zSEOaBvyowG4sf3MWSUlJsi4kP47SeQcmDTjYz5xiwoxUwaNYODCWe2HGb1NkFZkMs55I9FMYjI/s1600-h/October,Thanksgiving+2008+021.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5282700756047708882" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfSU6gCaHCugJeBGpuIBrWN9fajnHUu61UDK1-BL1bNQIw7LtObOoIGWeW_fxcBt50zSEOaBvyowG4sf3MWSUlJsi4kP47SeQcmDTjYz5xiwoxUwaNYODCWe2HGb1NkFZkMs55I9FMYjI/s320/October,Thanksgiving+2008+021.JPG" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" /></a><br /><div>I had my 6 week post <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">partum</span> checkup today. Afterwards, we stopped by Curt's truck stop to have lunch with him. We sat down at a table with too many chairs crammed around it to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">accommodate</span> all of us and Alvina came to take our order. While we waited for our order, Sadie (3)watched Alvina continue with her job and was pretty <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">interested</span>. She approached her at the cash register, held her hand and asked "Can I help?". Alvina laughed and handed her the bill to give to the men at a table next to them. Sadie beamed as she handed it to them and they laughed. She was hooked. From that moment on, Sadie held Alvina's hand all around the restaurant setting napkins, forks and mugs on the tables, and delivering leftovers. Obviously the restaurant wasn't that busy this morning. :) Sadie grinned HUGE with each act. Looking back at us with complete GLEE!! Finally they delivered our table with our forks and napkins and Alvina told her she would have to sit down and eat now. Every time Alvina came by, Sadie would ask "Can I HELP you??" As i was thinking over the cuteness of it all on the way home, the lyrics to "Servant King" came to mind. <strong><em>We</em></strong> came to the table knowing that we would be served, that we would sit and be brought what we ordered. Sadie didn't care for such cultural norms and restaurant etiquette...she wanted to help serve. It lightened the atmosphere of the whole place to break the rules a little bit for this little one who wanted to help. What a beautiful lesson for a 3 year old. She didn't learn to sit and be nicely served in a restaurant today but who cares? She learned that even when the world says "You DESERVE to be served right now, this is the way it is done PROPERLY.", that Serving others is more fun, kinder, friendlier and changes the world around you. Serving is so much more important than being served no matter how much others tell us we deserve to be "pampered" every now and then. Service is beautiful, just like the little white haired waitress at the Husky today.<br /><br />The Servant King<br />By Graham Kendrick<br />© 1983 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Kingsway's</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Thankyou</span> Music.<br /><br />From heaven you came, helpless babe,<br />Entered our world, your glory veiled;<br />Not to be served but to serve,<br />And give Your life That we might live.<br /><br />This is our God, the servant king,<br />He calls us now to follow Him,<br />to bring our lives<br />As a daily offering of worship to<br />the Servant King.<br /><br />There in the garden of tears,<br />My heavy load He chose to bear;<br />His heart with sorrow was torn,<br />'Yet not My will But Yours,' He said.<br /><br />Come see His hands And His feet,<br />The scars that speak of sacrifice;<br />Hands that flung stars Into space<br />To cruel nails Surrendered.<br /><br />So let us learn How to serve,<br />And in our lives Enthrone Him;<br />Each other's needs to prefer,<br />For it is Christ We're serving.</div> <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/little-waitress.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/little-waitress.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-22T12:10:00-07:00'>12:10 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/6492336929006408603' onclick=''> No comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/6492336929006408603' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=6492336929006408603&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/children' rel='tag'>children</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Motherhood' rel='tag'>Motherhood</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/service' rel='tag'>service</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Sunday, December 21, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiptFQ9vbQSztVvIKi7JIwsvpLz0DH7e6lOmVxvsw4EWEE0P4Jn48XooRUJsUpKS42xNzle3ZtK_C5I4EihT6jldWIF2p8lLvfDmemPrmbDIh_YV9UY_N3MwOIMCpuDt44TXMfVUByI4xI/s320/michaelangelo.jpg' itemprop='image_url'/> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='5981413149432742189' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='5981413149432742189'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/miracles.html'>miracles</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-5981413149432742189' itemprop='description articleBody'> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiptFQ9vbQSztVvIKi7JIwsvpLz0DH7e6lOmVxvsw4EWEE0P4Jn48XooRUJsUpKS42xNzle3ZtK_C5I4EihT6jldWIF2p8lLvfDmemPrmbDIh_YV9UY_N3MwOIMCpuDt44TXMfVUByI4xI/s1600-h/michaelangelo.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5282398685737188434" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiptFQ9vbQSztVvIKi7JIwsvpLz0DH7e6lOmVxvsw4EWEE0P4Jn48XooRUJsUpKS42xNzle3ZtK_C5I4EihT6jldWIF2p8lLvfDmemPrmbDIh_YV9UY_N3MwOIMCpuDt44TXMfVUByI4xI/s320/michaelangelo.jpg" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 130px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 87px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" /></a><br /><div>"He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">kingdom</span> of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." </div><div></div><div>The prayers of 19 grandchildren are a powerful thing....They were not only praying together with us for a miracle, but were conspiring to help find reconciliation.</div><div></div><div><span style="color:#009900;">Charter:</span> "How about we call Grannie and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Gramps</span></span> and make them say sorry."</div><div><span style="color:#006600;">Carrie:</span> "How about all of us kids write them a huge e-mail."</div><div><span style="color:#ff6666;">Robin:</span> "How about we have this really big party. We will invite Grannie and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Grampsie</span></span>. We will make them hug. We'll make them kiss. We'll play cards, and we'll make them sleep together."</div><div></div><div>God heard our prayers and this afternoon we received 2 e-mails. There will be no "parting", there will be a letting go of all things that may take away from the marriage... which translates as: There will be a retirement party and a home-coming. There will be a letting go of things that divide and a burning of legal papers that conspire to separate the most precious of partners to me. God is big, God is good, God hears. So proud of mom and dad. I know this is the beginning of a hard journey home, but it will be worth <strong>this</strong> journey... and we will all walk it together as families were designed to do. As a child, I learned this song on a "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Psalty</span></span>" tape and learned it with my dad. The family took it up as an anthem for welcoming new babies and wedding partners... today, it's for all of us. A old song to mark a new start. A letting go of things behind us and a pressing on to things ahead....<em>together</em>. </div><div></div><div><em>Welcome to the family,<br />we’re glad that you have come to share your life with us,<br />as we grow in love and,<br />may we always be to you what God would have us be<br />a family always there,<br />to be strong and to belong.<br />May we learn to love each other,<br />more with each new day.<br />May words of love be on our lips<br />in everything we say.<br />May the Spirit melt our hearts<br />and teach us how to pray<br />that we may be a true family.<br />Welcome to the family,<br />we’re glad that you have come to share your life with us,<br />as we grow in love and<br />may we always be to you what God would have us be<br />a family always there,<br />to be strong and to lean on,<br />to be strong and to belong.</em></div><div></div><div></div> <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/miracles.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/miracles.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-21T16:59:00-07:00'>4:59 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/5981413149432742189' onclick=''> 2 comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/5981413149432742189' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=5981413149432742189&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/children' rel='tag'>children</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/divorce' rel='tag'>divorce</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Motherhood' rel='tag'>Motherhood</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='3681922280556179034' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='3681922280556179034'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/best-friends-forever.html'>Best Friends Forever</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-3681922280556179034' itemprop='description articleBody'> We have a tradition between my sisters kids and mine. Ever since my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">niece</span> Cairo was a tiny baby, my sister Paige would hold out her finger to her and they would touch peter pointers and announce "Best Friends Forever!" As the years have progressed, this tradition has spread to all 19 of the cousins. The little ones especially love repeating it over and over, reminding themselves and everyone around them that they are part of the group of "Best Friends Forever". Today, after taking each child individually to their rooms, cuddling them on their beds and talking to them about the "parting" of their grandparents in language that each age level could understand, we gathered as a family for prayer. Robin, my tender little one, curled up in her most comfortable <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">blankie</span>, eyes still red, my older ones impatient with my 3 year <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">old's</span> interruptions. I hadn't explained it to her, so quickly, in simple, language explained it this way. "Grannie and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Grampsie</span> have been having a fight and no one will say "sorry" and no one will say "I forgive you." She nodded her head slowly and stared at me with such a serious face. As Curt began to pray for my parents who we love so much, Sadie burst out with "The Bible says "Be Best Friends Forever!!". I looked up at her and she had a huge, beaming face and her 3 year old finger was raised up to me. I shifted baby Wesley in my arms, pointed my finger at her and repeated "Best Friends Forever Sadie"... As i type this now, the image of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Michelangelo's</span> Sistine Ceiling comes to me... God's finger coming down to touch the finger of Adam... bringing life and promise and relationship. May the "finger of God" come down and bring us a miracle this Christmas, one of new life, promises kept, and relationship. <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/best-friends-forever.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/best-friends-forever.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-21T11:51:00-07:00'>11:51 AM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/3681922280556179034' onclick=''> 2 comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/3681922280556179034' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=3681922280556179034&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/children' rel='tag'>children</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/divorce' rel='tag'>divorce</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Motherhood' rel='tag'>Motherhood</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Saturday, December 20, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='7651592597627378830' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='7651592597627378830'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/sojourner-last-date.html'>sojourner: The Last Date</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-7651592597627378830' itemprop='description articleBody'> <a href="http://sojourner-ephraim.blogspot.com/2008/12/last-date.html">sojourner: The Last Date</a> <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/sojourner-last-date.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/sojourner-last-date.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-20T15:17:00-07:00'>3:17 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/7651592597627378830' onclick=''> No comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/7651592597627378830' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=7651592597627378830&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/children' rel='tag'>children</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/divorce' rel='tag'>divorce</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='4959064883000975757' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='4959064883000975757'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/trading-my-worries-for-snuggles.html'>Trading my Worries for Snuggles</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-4959064883000975757' itemprop='description articleBody'> I've found myself lately in a state of stunned silence. My children can ask a question a thousand times and here i sit, at the computer screen, e-mailing back and forth... thinking...digesting pain that I can't share with them. Not yet. "Just a sec Sadie. Mom's finishing this note... Carrie could you get Wesley for me?...and Robin, check auntie Steph's pie in the oven, tell me if it's done. Ellie, would you get me the phone? Darren, could you go somewhere else? mom's writing a private e-mail. If you want you can go watch TV"... My house is "shocking" but not because I've been snuggling children...It has been left to become a mess because I am too busy worrying. The last 4 lines struck me today. Maybe it's not just cleaning that can wait... maybe worry and sorrow can wait too... I'm feeling like a bad mama doing nothing but obsessing for days. Jesus, I lay this sorrow in your capable hands... I need to go hold a little person and be held back. Help me to only carry what you intend for me to carry....and to keep moving. -j<br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Song for a Fifth Child<br />by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton </strong><br /><strong><br /></strong>Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,<br />Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,<br />Hang out the washing and butter the bread,<br />Sew on a button and make up a bed.<br />Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?<br />She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.<br />Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue<br />(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).<br />Dishes are waiting and bills are past due<br />(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).<br />The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew<br />And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo<br />But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.<br />Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?<br />(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).<br />The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,<br />For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.<br />So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.<br />I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep. <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/trading-my-worries-for-snuggles.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/trading-my-worries-for-snuggles.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-20T14:20:00-07:00'>2:20 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/4959064883000975757' onclick=''> 2 comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/4959064883000975757' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=4959064883000975757&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/children' rel='tag'>children</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/divorce' rel='tag'>divorce</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Motherhood' rel='tag'>Motherhood</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Friday, December 19, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='8163366578608168144' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='8163366578608168144'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/still.html'>Still</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-8163366578608168144' itemprop='description articleBody'> <div align="center"><strong>Still</strong></div><div align="center">By Reuben Morgan</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"><em>Hide me now</em></div><div align="center"><em>Under your wings</em></div><div align="center"><em>Cover me</em></div><div align="center"><em>Within your mighty hand<br />When the oceans rise and thunders roar</em></div><div align="center"><em>I will soar with you above the storm</em></div><div align="center"><em>Father you are king over the flood</em></div><div align="center"><em>I will be still and know you are God<br />Find rest my soul</em></div><div align="center"><em>In Christ alone</em></div><div align="center"><em>Know his power</em></div><div align="center"><em>In quietness and trust</em></div><div align="center"><em>When the oceans <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">rise</span> and thunders roar</em></div><div align="center"><em>I will soar with you above the storm</em></div><div align="center"><em>Father you are king over the flood</em></div><div align="center"><em>I will be still and know you are God</em></div> <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/still.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/still.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-19T11:20:00-07:00'>11:20 AM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/8163366578608168144' onclick=''> No comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/8163366578608168144' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=8163366578608168144&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/divorce' rel='tag'>divorce</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/lyrics' rel='tag'>lyrics</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Thursday, December 18, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJHwjRo1SETvAouRqkyVaiJNGg6RcA4QYKdKzRfW7AbwVQZ_o5qHz_gc_pTEgUYhKye75VAy8mhTveheVvX6C9feM9V1SgK0S5k230o1hZFLA1g73uNLIcXT-xH_02kDm4us4vpc0K4-U/s320/scan0010.jpg' itemprop='image_url'/> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='772738443161325506' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='772738443161325506'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/human-life.html'>Human Life</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-772738443161325506' itemprop='description articleBody'> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJHwjRo1SETvAouRqkyVaiJNGg6RcA4QYKdKzRfW7AbwVQZ_o5qHz_gc_pTEgUYhKye75VAy8mhTveheVvX6C9feM9V1SgK0S5k230o1hZFLA1g73uNLIcXT-xH_02kDm4us4vpc0K4-U/s1600-h/scan0010.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5281263378630418834" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJHwjRo1SETvAouRqkyVaiJNGg6RcA4QYKdKzRfW7AbwVQZ_o5qHz_gc_pTEgUYhKye75VAy8mhTveheVvX6C9feM9V1SgK0S5k230o1hZFLA1g73uNLIcXT-xH_02kDm4us4vpc0K4-U/s320/scan0010.jpg" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 307px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" /></a><br /><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">"Human Life does not move with the regularity of a clock</span></em></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">In living there are gaps and silences </span></em></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">When the soul stands still in it's flight through abysses</span></em></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">And then there come times of trial and times of struggle </span></em></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">When we grow old without knowing it." </span></em></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></em></div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">(Hamlin Garland from "Main Travelled Roads")</span></em></div><div align="center"><br /></div><span style="font-size:85%;">...or when we wish we were 2 again.</span> <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/human-life.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/human-life.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-18T15:27:00-07:00'>3:27 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/772738443161325506' onclick=''> 2 comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/772738443161325506' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=772738443161325506&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/divorce' rel='tag'>divorce</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/poetry' rel='tag'>poetry</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Wednesday, December 17, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZll8SyQGsRNL8AhlPdPU2CcQdgiBN8nesVUUKAYqeUW-vA8djGN55oUl5mCpzCgms4CFORw3miElhCh69c7tp0BYBcTgojztEUaUkmIMUEw7qXEsK6JsdXa7qjSl-DvOwSuOToaaK89o/s320/june+2004+022.jpg' itemprop='image_url'/> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='2305678445971142272' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='2305678445971142272'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/memory-lane.html'>Memory Lane</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-2305678445971142272' itemprop='description articleBody'> From the first year of our marriage, Curt insisted on raising and butchering our own chickens. The first year was a little hard as I was about 4 months pregnant by the time that the butchering day came around. There were not just regular old chickens but 28 lb turkeys waiting for me to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">eviscerate</span> and scrub down as well. Nausea from the pregnancy and the nature of the job sent me to the bushes a few times but I did hang in there to finish the job. Into the late afternoon i continued with the meticulous scrubbing and cleaning of the birds in my large sink in the little <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">renta</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZll8SyQGsRNL8AhlPdPU2CcQdgiBN8nesVUUKAYqeUW-vA8djGN55oUl5mCpzCgms4CFORw3miElhCh69c7tp0BYBcTgojztEUaUkmIMUEw7qXEsK6JsdXa7qjSl-DvOwSuOToaaK89o/s1600-h/june+2004+022.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280951071650895986" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZll8SyQGsRNL8AhlPdPU2CcQdgiBN8nesVUUKAYqeUW-vA8djGN55oUl5mCpzCgms4CFORw3miElhCh69c7tp0BYBcTgojztEUaUkmIMUEw7qXEsK6JsdXa7qjSl-DvOwSuOToaaK89o/s320/june+2004+022.jpg" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" /></a>l house we lived in at the time. I was going to prove to him that I could be a tough little farm wife and keep up with whatever he threw at me. After all, I had worked tougher jobs than this before marriage. I think he too was trying to show off to me. Showing me all the things he had to "teach" me to make me a good wife....I was trying to prove that I didn't need any "coaching" i knew it all already. (prideful little thing) So there we were, working like dogs to prove what a good deal the other one had gotten in this marriage of ours. Curt always used to say "You can't get <em>this</em> taste from a store!!" I secretly thought "I sure could and it would be a whole lot less of a pain in the butt!" Looking back, it was something that we both really actually took pride in being able to do together. We disagreed on a lot the first 4 years, but doing chickens was something we both came to actually enjoy. Today Curt came home with a large bag of 5 huge fresh chickens that he bought for a great price off of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Hutterites</span>. I began cutting them up, saving the "backs" in a separate bag for soups and bagging the rest...It all came flooding back. I'm glad i wasn't scrubbing today!<br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPdkjt_Uag-_2rn1EgbwYkForPWO5PVHqwutbaXpzN-62_hnxYuGryb8zsPM_fcDnVCZM8c5bOAnzFZJATjvNFlfrXwh9CNYPb7mFc0GNPTTH7nXGe7jlismxjVxKKnWhakGQC5hVs5hs/s1600-h/june+2004+017.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280951066157816930" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPdkjt_Uag-_2rn1EgbwYkForPWO5PVHqwutbaXpzN-62_hnxYuGryb8zsPM_fcDnVCZM8c5bOAnzFZJATjvNFlfrXwh9CNYPb7mFc0GNPTTH7nXGe7jlismxjVxKKnWhakGQC5hVs5hs/s320/june+2004+017.jpg" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX6TzfVkcmiRaLcupoqX5Q9MVKVdX8X8isDKI486z2GDoVzumHqhCFeG3ZFKsTPjaFXRNzF-4t9FUKxMeg7Z_WuCsKjEKvjAWmE1TfvDvgMVQeAiPlrxJr8Q6svgVe0JZjrdvV4EKRLAI/s1600-h/june+2004+020.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280951056393702802" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX6TzfVkcmiRaLcupoqX5Q9MVKVdX8X8isDKI486z2GDoVzumHqhCFeG3ZFKsTPjaFXRNzF-4t9FUKxMeg7Z_WuCsKjEKvjAWmE1TfvDvgMVQeAiPlrxJr8Q6svgVe0JZjrdvV4EKRLAI/s320/june+2004+020.jpg" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div></div></div></div> <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/memory-lane.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/memory-lane.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-17T19:22:00-07:00'>7:22 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/2305678445971142272' onclick=''> 2 comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/2305678445971142272' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=2305678445971142272&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/chickens' rel='tag'>chickens</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Tuesday, December 16, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='5148472810760843991' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='5148472810760843991'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/pied-beauty.html'>Pied Beauty</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-5148472810760843991' itemprop='description articleBody'> I fell in love with the poetry of Gerard Manley Hopkins in University. This is one that I memorized at the time. I love it because it's not a striving for perfection. It's not a whiny defeatists resignation to imperfection either....wallowing in self-pity. Instead it's a call to praise God for what he is birthing in us and around us even when what we see is imperfect or not what we expected...or even seems ugly to us at the time. It is a call to keep our eyes on the One who *is* perfect. There is a bigger picture. <br /><br /><br />Gerard Manley Hopkins (1844–89).<br /><br /> <strong> </strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><div align="center"><strong>Pied Beauty<br /></strong><br /><br />GLORY be to God for dappled things—<br /><a name="1"></a><br /> For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;<br /><a name="2"></a><br /> For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;<br /><a name="3"></a><br />Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches’ wings;<br /><a name="4"></a><br /> Landscape plotted and pieced—fold, fallow, and plough;<br /> <br /> And áll trádes, their gear and tackle and trim.<br /><a name="6"></a><br /><br />All things counter, original, spare, strange;<br /><a name="7"></a><br /> Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)<br /><a name="8"></a><br /> With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;<br /><a name="9"></a><br />He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:<br /> <br /> Praise him.</div> <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/pied-beauty.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/pied-beauty.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-16T16:32:00-07:00'>4:32 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/5148472810760843991' onclick=''> No comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/5148472810760843991' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=5148472810760843991&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Gerard%20Manley%20Hopkins' rel='tag'>Gerard Manley Hopkins</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/poetry' rel='tag'>poetry</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Monday, December 15, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='4984093731588507797' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='4984093731588507797'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/epilepsy.html'>Epilepsy</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-4984093731588507797' itemprop='description articleBody'> The other day my husband got a call from work that someone had fallen at his workplace. I rolled my eyes. "So are they suing?" This happens every now and then and people want to sue because they fell over the curb, or slipped on a slick of wet in the front doors...whatever. I find it frustrating that lawsuits seem to be the order of the day. As the day and story unfolded though, it became clear that she hadn't really just fallen. After paramedics had come and they had taken eye-witness accounts, a seizure was suspected. My husband and his father realized that they may have "the fall" on their video surveillance and pulled it up. When they told the paramedics that they had footage they were eager to see it. I was curious as well. Today I asked my husband to play it for me. Our son has epilepsy. All the children were in the room and wanted to see the footage as well, especially our son. Although he was diagnosed with epilepsy 3 years ago, he is not aware during his seizures. Only the rare foggy memory of post-seizure questions from us are held onto. "Are you okay Darren? Do you know what just happened?" And even then, the seizure has so depleted his strength that he is answering through a half-sleep that he does not recover from till morning. He's never had one in the day before. Never in public. Only in the middle of the night. We use a baby monitor to hear him. Curt finally found the clip and played it. She walked around the store and then came back near the surveillance camera. Suddenly she doubled over 90 degrees and then again suddenly went down on her face...her hands did not shoot out to protect her fall. Her legs were bent at the knee, her waist was still bent and she lay un-naturally like that while two other customers immediately came and tried to turn her over and help her, calling for the cashier. With the jerkiness of the camera surveillace system I could not tell "movement of the seizure" but i could tell the positioning of her body. It took about 10 minutes for paramedics to arrive and she still had not gotten up. One customer covered her with his thick winter coat. Everyone gathered around, staring helpless. I could almost hear the conversation... "What happened? Did she trip? Is she okay? how come she won't get up? Should we turn her over?" As a mother, it was my son I was watching... my son... <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/epilepsy.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/epilepsy.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-15T16:36:00-07:00'>4:36 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/4984093731588507797' onclick=''> 3 comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/4984093731588507797' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=4984093731588507797&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/epilepsy' rel='tag'>epilepsy</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/illness' rel='tag'>illness</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Motherhood' rel='tag'>Motherhood</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Wednesday, December 10, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='2435304485428345082' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='2435304485428345082'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/normal.html'>Normal</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-2435304485428345082' itemprop='description articleBody'> Writing back and forth with a friend this week got me thinking about "normal" days again. Since Wesley's birth, there have been long hours of cuddling and also of a quiet house. Every time there is a new baby, my husband becomes like the pied piper at the end of the fairytale who leads all of the children out of the town with his whistle, only he leads them out the door and to the barn or bush and here i sit alone. One morning he took Darren and Carrie hunting for deer in tree stands in the freezing morning air... for 3 hours straight! ( No deer) At the moment, i have 2 sleeping little ones tucked into their beds at home and he has 4 active ones all watching the horses' feet being done at Papa's barn. At first it's bliss and babe and I sleep in oblivious tandem healing...and then it gets lonely. I ache for the attention of my husband and to be surrounded by my children. I love the action and interaction of this 'big family'. It's peaceful chaos to me. A little while after Wesley was born, i bent over to pick laundry off of the bathroom floor. Sadie looked at me with amazement. "MOM! you can bend over!!" To her it was like a miraculous healing had taken place. Some days it just feels like "Normal" is trying to squeeze his ol' head in through the door again and I'm ready.--j <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/normal.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/normal.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-10T14:07:00-07:00'>2:07 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/2435304485428345082' onclick=''> 2 comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/2435304485428345082' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=2435304485428345082&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/babies' rel='tag'>babies</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/children' rel='tag'>children</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Motherhood' rel='tag'>Motherhood</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/pregnancy' rel='tag'>pregnancy</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='994629492870618434' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='994629492870618434'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/my-marryin-self.html'>My "marryin' self"</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-994629492870618434' itemprop='description articleBody'> While i was getting ready this morning i had a little helper following me around. Sadie (2) loves to stay fairly close if there is any chance that make up may be applied. "Can I have some?" This morning as i grabbed a shirt out of the closet she spied our framed wedding picture propped up against the closets' back wall. Unfortunately I haven't hung it yet after 1 1/2 years of living in this house. She gasped. "MOM! Is that your <em>marryin' </em>self?!" We had just been to a wedding this past weekend so the whole "marryin" thing must have been fresh in her mind. "Yes, that's my <em>marryin'</em> self." "Mom!! I didn't know you were going to marry <em>DAD</em>!...I thought you were going to marry <em>meee</em>." She faked a sad face as i picked her up and kissed her funny face. "Well, I want to marry you too Sadie... will you marry <em>me</em>?" Her face lit up. "Yes, I will marry you mom!" I love it. She understands only that marriage is a declaration of love and she wanted that from me. An "I love you Sadie." (and i do...how could i not!) She is the same kid that declares everytime we hold hands; "Holding hands means 'you are my best friend and I love you.'" So important to be loved and to hear it and know it isn't it? <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/my-marryin-self.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/my-marryin-self.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-10T13:26:00-07:00'>1:26 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/994629492870618434' onclick=''> 4 comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/994629492870618434' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=994629492870618434&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/children' rel='tag'>children</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/love' rel='tag'>love</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Motherhood' rel='tag'>Motherhood</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Saturday, December 6, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs5XottsTcInHamgNbMoCy0K8-SYPHqdRYQGFZoBNCLdiT7GDj21BIwXvAYS34Cqxo8MPMUqfIlxsRuUKto9YCcihwD2gaQDoFsEExKMMqiihmPkGXc0gdGyCQg78kygPZpsw3WdbwdvA/s320/carrie+horsing+with+kaehli.jpg' itemprop='image_url'/> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='4494673618523301614' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='4494673618523301614'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/chenille.html'>Chenille</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-4494673618523301614' itemprop='description articleBody'> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs5XottsTcInHamgNbMoCy0K8-SYPHqdRYQGFZoBNCLdiT7GDj21BIwXvAYS34Cqxo8MPMUqfIlxsRuUKto9YCcihwD2gaQDoFsEExKMMqiihmPkGXc0gdGyCQg78kygPZpsw3WdbwdvA/s1600-h/carrie+horsing+with+kaehli.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277238312572574242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs5XottsTcInHamgNbMoCy0K8-SYPHqdRYQGFZoBNCLdiT7GDj21BIwXvAYS34Cqxo8MPMUqfIlxsRuUKto9YCcihwD2gaQDoFsEExKMMqiihmPkGXc0gdGyCQg78kygPZpsw3WdbwdvA/s320/carrie+horsing+with+kaehli.jpg" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 218px" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioxNesI8SZvaPUx4EBXc7JEnosRuJqbxYJlareyGRkWTZ5u2n_8T3aW0JG4PODeQdhrLXV4SjthboHoGNArwfI06dnLXPECqOpg2SyxAJ4g6B7Pcrlkd4i28SkyYe9PrEKgxnjjZEfHuw/s1600-h/October,Thanksgiving+2008+076.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5276916456857853890" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioxNesI8SZvaPUx4EBXc7JEnosRuJqbxYJlareyGRkWTZ5u2n_8T3aW0JG4PODeQdhrLXV4SjthboHoGNArwfI06dnLXPECqOpg2SyxAJ4g6B7Pcrlkd4i28SkyYe9PrEKgxnjjZEfHuw/s320/October,Thanksgiving+2008+076.JPG" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" /></a><br /><br /><div>I wondered yesterday what I should blog about... should it be the indoor baseball the kids are doing? The wedding we went to with everyone today? The christmas concert that became more commitment than i thought it would be?? And then, this morning one of our horses died. Not just any horse. Chenille. My mother in law, who keeps track of everything down to where she planted her cucumbers in the garden for the past 30 years and how many tomatos and peaches she canned from year to year, pulled out her horse photo album this afternoon when we dropped by, reading Chenille's history to Carrie, my animal lover. Chenille was born in 1985, My inlaws bought her in 92 and she was my mother in law's horse. A bay arab. Beautiful and fast...but with the typical fire of an arab as well. She liked to ride a little side-ways when she was at a "trot" but "full out", you would think you were flying. She liked to pull the reins out of your hands and itch her legs with her nose if she could and when you would take her to the mountains her arab legs would shake with anticipation and fear, but as soon as you were on the trail, she was determined and sure-footed. Boy could she neck-rein. The first time Curt and I went out it was for a ride through Chickakoo with our parents, Chenille came. Most of our dates involved taking Chenille and one of the other horses out for a ride. One day we found out she couldn't swim as we tried to cross a pond in one of the surrounding fields. Such a terrible feeling filled us as she panicked and refused to lift her head out of the water after a fit of terror. Curt stood knee deep in the muck and held her head up until she had calmed down enough to stand again. We rode home in silence. Poor Chenille. As soon as we were married Curt bought her for me from his mother. Later, we bought her filly off of them too and Curt trained and rode her. I loved riding Chenille. I loved her fire and Curt liked to say that the horse was just like the rider. :) When we had children, Chenille was the horse they learned to ride on and she seemed to know they were precious and she would ride so slowly and carefully. She had a colt we named Snoopy that died soon after birth of a heart defect. My 4 year old son and I talked a lot about death and heaven and the resurection after Snoopy. I caught him playing with his plastic horse and make believing that it had died. He carefully laid a dish cloth on it "Snoopy DIED!!!" he announced to the empty room... paused for silence. I felt for him... Suddenly he snatched the dish cloth and threw it in the air and yelled "He ROSE AGAIN!!!!!!!!" :) Funny how some moments we never forget. This summer, Darren, Carrie, Robin and Ellie each rode on Chenille. Sadie rode while being led around. It's been 12 years since we were married and bought Chenille and this morning, after doing chores with Sadie, Curt found her at the fence between our farm and my in-law's farm. Gone. Some horses come and go and we forget we rode them or we only remember one particular ride. Sugar was so annoying she had to be at the front of the pack wherever you rode, Paula Too ganted up so much on one mountain ride that the saddle fell off and Curt just about went down the mountain with her, Silver Cloud was sold to a friend so that Curt could buy me an engagement ring, Freckles doubled me and Curt up to old Alfred's field the night Curt proposed to me...Chenille was there for 12 years anytime we wanted to ride, anytime the kids wanted to ride, or friends and family. Today as my mother in law took out the book, she also carefully noted today's date at the bottom of Chenille's page. It might strike a person funny... that maybe we're remembering horses... but it's more than just the horse we're remembering, it's the time we spent together riding with her. She represents a big part of the "recreation" part of our marriage and family life. She was there the morning we woke up to a drooping tent under thick snow in the mountains of Cadomin. My mother in law fried eggs and bacon. The snow caused HUGE snaps as it fell into her pan. She made me coffee that morning even though she would never touch the stuff, and we saw a huge moose on the mountain only a few meters away. One ride... there were hundreds more... i could go on. Hard to imagine going for a ride without her. </div></div> <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/chenille.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/chenille.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-06T21:39:00-07:00'>9:39 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/4494673618523301614' onclick=''> 7 comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/4494673618523301614' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=4494673618523301614&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/horses' rel='tag'>horses</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/marriage' rel='tag'>marriage</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Thursday, December 4, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLn7pgV3pGE-LHJPvwx2pC3gjBCoL8GYksGVdlXw5wleM2XwgmYL7nqhrwnqsF8T_amPKTYcOJMfeDNzJ02HlbR77MMaMVV5Qn-hNXEnYix8dPmwKs9hJRPXtUFXTcV80ILv-LLUJbTfo/s320/thanksgiving.jpg' itemprop='image_url'/> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='67691197680105284' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='67691197680105284'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/hail-hail-gangs-all-here.html'>Hail Hail the Gangs all here!</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-67691197680105284' itemprop='description articleBody'> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLn7pgV3pGE-LHJPvwx2pC3gjBCoL8GYksGVdlXw5wleM2XwgmYL7nqhrwnqsF8T_amPKTYcOJMfeDNzJ02HlbR77MMaMVV5Qn-hNXEnYix8dPmwKs9hJRPXtUFXTcV80ILv-LLUJbTfo/s1600-h/thanksgiving.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5276166372134699154" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLn7pgV3pGE-LHJPvwx2pC3gjBCoL8GYksGVdlXw5wleM2XwgmYL7nqhrwnqsF8T_amPKTYcOJMfeDNzJ02HlbR77MMaMVV5Qn-hNXEnYix8dPmwKs9hJRPXtUFXTcV80ILv-LLUJbTfo/s320/thanksgiving.jpg" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 225px" /></a><br /><div>This picture is from Thanksgiving so that you can get an image of "the gang". Today was what we are coming to think of as "cousin time". Both of my sisters landed at my house today. One from Calgary, Paige, with her 6 little ones was dropped off as her husband had work to do in the city. My other sister <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Steph</span>, the party animal, drove "alone" ("alone" means no husband) through the snow from Hinton with her 7 kids so that we 3 sisters could have some time together. As the years pass though it seems like we are doing it less and less for ourselves and more and more for the kids. After everyone went home, I couldn't think of an answer to my husband's favorite question. "What did you talk about?" I think this is a question that all husbands like to ask when their wives get together with their sisters. What this question really translates to is "Did you talk about ME?" To tell you the truth. We started talking about a lot of things....some topics came to a close naturally, but many were <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">interrupted</span> with newborn tears, diaper changes, children coming up with "knock knock" jokes, "May I have a (whatever the fridge contains)"...Conversation...It's not as easy as it used to be when there were just the 3 of us. 19 kids has a way of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">focusing</span> a persons' attention elsewhere! Sometimes we don't finish a conversation, or a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">disagreement</span>, or even a sentence, but for this season that's okay. If what we can do now is a day of just "being" together, that's enough. So what that as we listened to Cairo play her newly mastered fiddle tunes there was noise not just in the background but in stereo. I told her to keep playing as i pulled out the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">vacuum</span> and sucked up all the crumbs from under the couch that her baby brother was finding. Her cousin was being changed on the couch, kids were going in and out with chores... and up and down the stairs with toys. I've had moments in my life of loneliness. Moments when the sound of nothing and no one rings in the ears. Just like those seasons of life worked something in me, these days of full houses and finding contentment in just "being" together are working in me to a purpose as well. We don't have to solve every political, social problem when we get together, we don't have to know every little thing. Sometimes, just having people you love close together matters more.</div> <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/hail-hail-gangs-all-here.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/hail-hail-gangs-all-here.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-04T21:13:00-07:00'>9:13 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/67691197680105284' onclick=''> 4 comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/67691197680105284' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=67691197680105284&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/big%20family%20get%20together' rel='tag'>big family get together</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/sisters' rel='tag'>sisters</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Tuesday, December 2, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh971HUXPQF_29nsRwhF4k3rcLytWHzdsCvztf2T901xi9j_LM7rSAjojTNdRY3COpN0Bf3GP-JY3SQPZbXsVWq4zkfBaqKac9EII7NDkqWPCbe7eGZIiCbPlke0akEl-_fOhqknhPX0D0/s320/5-color.gif' itemprop='image_url'/> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='809508720431382340' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='809508720431382340'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/beautiful-bonds.html'>Beautiful Bonds</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-809508720431382340' itemprop='description articleBody'> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh971HUXPQF_29nsRwhF4k3rcLytWHzdsCvztf2T901xi9j_LM7rSAjojTNdRY3COpN0Bf3GP-JY3SQPZbXsVWq4zkfBaqKac9EII7NDkqWPCbe7eGZIiCbPlke0akEl-_fOhqknhPX0D0/s1600-h/5-color.gif"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5275369552229468626" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh971HUXPQF_29nsRwhF4k3rcLytWHzdsCvztf2T901xi9j_LM7rSAjojTNdRY3COpN0Bf3GP-JY3SQPZbXsVWq4zkfBaqKac9EII7NDkqWPCbe7eGZIiCbPlke0akEl-_fOhqknhPX0D0/s320/5-color.gif" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 232px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ7hXRZpOjcYhn9pSjL2sZdD7kGqzzp5miNd7rAAG2UEIyixz99hW_9uPay2MZG_0Ju79o1RXiHGWamhYBFoUuohyfEw4Tno0O6yLGJ6audFkVR23Ku6ueNDPdGw6BALn9TzYzPGf2nf4/s1600-h/18.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5275369420032746162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ7hXRZpOjcYhn9pSjL2sZdD7kGqzzp5miNd7rAAG2UEIyixz99hW_9uPay2MZG_0Ju79o1RXiHGWamhYBFoUuohyfEw4Tno0O6yLGJ6audFkVR23Ku6ueNDPdGw6BALn9TzYzPGf2nf4/s320/18.jpg" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 229px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" /></a><br /><br /><div>Lately I never know what the day will hold regardless of my plans. Yesterday i had planned to take all the kids in to Wesley's 2 week check-up. I got Darren to run out and start the vehicle and blast the heat as i packed Wesley in his carrier. The others loaded on their boots and coats and buckled in. We drove down the lane, Darren jumping out as we went to unlock the gates that keep the horses in. When Darren finished locking the last gate, he ran up to my window and yelled that the back tire was flat to the ground. I looked back and sure enough. On a good day i wouldn't have minded walking back with the 6 kids but in my still physically fragile state, the km or so walk back to the house through the horse pasture with freezing wind that knocked me over while carrying the baby and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">consolling</span> the little ones, wind burning my throbbing eardrums... no thanks. I love my cell phone. I called my husband and asked him if i could drive back up the lane. No. He would come and get me. While I waited the 5-10 minutes (thank goodness) that it took him to drive home from work, I called the Dr. and re-scheduled the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">appt</span>. and of course Wesley filled his pants. It seems as though every baby knows exactly which situation would be fun to punctuate with an explosion of the pants. It is days like that that make me feel like I will never be <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">independent</span> again. I will never be able to leave the house. I am tethered. (Ah but what beautiful bonds!!) My little Ellie looked at me with sympathy as i changed Wes in the front seat and commented, "You look like you're going to cry mom." Ha <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">haa</span>! I probably wasn't too far from the waterworks but didn't let the dam break. The rest of the day was rearranged to make room for my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">disastrous</span> morning and the day ended as my sleepless night began. A HUNGRY little dictator begging for cream every hour. Later, at his appointment, we discovered that he has gone from his birth weight of 8lbs 15oz all the way to a whopping 10lbs 3 oz! Goodness! I haven't even written down his birth story and he's barely a newborn anymore! Time hasn't stood still for me to get used to this new phase. It is wildly marching on to the next moment, day, week... and month even. These bonds that hold me...these children do not slow time down, even though time seems to stop when I'm blindsided by the physicality of birth... in fact time seems to have sped up as these little ones have entered our lives... These little ones are part of the miracle that weaves us tightly together as we are hurtled through these years. Today as i stared at Robin rocking Wes...then later as the girls sang to him in the swing with synchronized actions, then as i talked with Ellie and folded laundry on the floor of my room and she snuggled her sleeping brother I just wanted to stop time. To hold that memory. The lack of sleep and the resulting fuzzy brain makes it almost impossible to remember 5 minutes from when it happened, let alone "forever"! For the moment, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">i'm</span> going to rest in the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">knowledge</span> that "Our times are in His hand". Years from now, when the brain in REALLY frazzled, i hope that He'll remind me of all the joys of the years I've spent living this life I've chosen and He's blessed. ...now what was i talking about? I have to read this over for the 400<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">th</span> time so I can gather my thoughts... time to quit.--j </div></div> <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/beautiful-bonds.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/beautiful-bonds.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-12-02T17:25:00-07:00'>5:25 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/809508720431382340' onclick=''> 2 comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/809508720431382340' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=809508720431382340&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/babies' rel='tag'>babies</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/children' rel='tag'>children</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Motherhood' rel='tag'>Motherhood</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/pregnancy' rel='tag'>pregnancy</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Monday, November 24, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='7005633805242875646' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='7005633805242875646'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/fresh-start.html'>a fresh start</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-7005633805242875646' itemprop='description articleBody'> I've decided to take the example of my mother in law and attempt to eat everything out of my freezer before buying anything more. wonder how long it will take... wonder if my husband will put up with it and for how long. Right now I'm using the left over ham and mashed <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">potatoes</span> to make some smooth hot potato and ham soup...comfort food on a day when i can't blog about the things that break my heart or shame me. Why is it that when I decide to start fresh... do something important better, not make any more mistakes...decide to be firmer, more resolute in my beliefs, make my stand and not budge...that when the day of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">reckoning</span> comes i decide that maybe it's better not to fight... maybe peace is more important than <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">conscience</span>? (p.s. it's not) In the process of trying to "create" peace by ignoring my better judgement, I've created a boil of sorrow for more than just me. I guess it's time for another 'fresh start'. *sigh* Can't wait for Heaven. In the meantime... there is some hot homemade soup waiting for me...and maybe a few salty tears of self pity to go with.--j <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/fresh-start.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/fresh-start.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-11-24T12:10:00-07:00'>12:10 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/7005633805242875646' onclick=''> 2 comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/7005633805242875646' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=7005633805242875646&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/babies' rel='tag'>babies</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/guilt' rel='tag'>guilt</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Motherhood' rel='tag'>Motherhood</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Saturday, November 22, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='2054091554233180438' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='2054091554233180438'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/wrinkle-in-time.html'>wrinkle in time</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-2054091554233180438' itemprop='description articleBody'> Funny how only a few weeks ago every second was recorded, and painstakingly lived out as i awaited the arrival of this little one. I could tell you the day/month/ year/ time... what was going to happen that week and what had happened the week before. Suddenly... and I know the exact date that this changed...November 13th 2008 struck me down and all is forgotten. It's as though the black curtain has come down on the stage of life, all the props and other actors have sunken into complete darkness...there is no audience... and all that is left is a spotlight on me and this little one in an empty auditorium. My sister Paige wrote me an e-mail saying how it was so amazing counting up from 'one' again... day one of his life, day 2....etc. To be honest, I have forgotten how to count. All the things i hoped to write have gone unwritten as my brain takes time to sort out all the emotions and events during and since the birth of my son. I couldn't tell you how many days have passed since he was born without counting it up... and asking someone what day we're on today. The hours melt by and it's as though i've found my own wrinkle in time. Pajamas have no specific time of day in which to make their entrance or exit from the stage, sleep is a thing that is snatched in whatever hour is available, and the darkness of night invites repeated communion with this little one. We are sorrowing together, healing together, needing each other in this wrinkle in time we have found. Really, it is a miracle that life could move so slowly and peaceably with all the family, friends, children and schedules that bless and rule our everyday. I believe that it is *because* of these people though and not *despite* them that I am finding time. My mother came, giving me 2 weeks of complete surrender to the lives in this home, my husband continued with the routine with not a word of complaint, my children offer to help with whatever small chore is available to them, friends and family brought over baking, flowers, clothing for the baby, my sisters calling, e-mailing, visiting, telling me my child is beautiful and loved. From the birth I have said that I felt as though I had "come undone"... but these little stars of grace and mercy and kindness....so much more than i deserve. <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/wrinkle-in-time.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/wrinkle-in-time.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-11-22T16:30:00-07:00'>4:30 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/2054091554233180438' onclick=''> No comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/2054091554233180438' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=2054091554233180438&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/babies' rel='tag'>babies</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Motherhood' rel='tag'>Motherhood</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/pregnancy' rel='tag'>pregnancy</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Tuesday, November 11, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='6479876492845234957' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='6479876492845234957'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/all-we-carry-and-who-carries-us.html'>All we carry and Who carries us.</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-6479876492845234957' itemprop='description articleBody'> *tears*-not too useful but ever ready since yesterday. The Dr. was so sure of the Ultrasound date of the 4<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">th</span></span>. I shouldn't have, but got my hopes up. Now a week later, as my own calculated due date has come and gone, the hormones have shifted into tear-gear. I'm hoping that this is a complete chemical shift that will translate into labour pains but my brain <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">ridiculously</span> keeps telling me that the baby has changed his mind and decided not to come after all. Completely illogical. I'm so thankful for my mother who is attacking project after project with the kids as I have suddenly gone from "Confident Wonder Woman" to "Pyjama/Sniffle Wimp Girl." I think the worst part about this snippet at the end of the pregnancy is not so much the desperation of the wait but the sudden knowledge that any pain and loss of control I feel at this moment is going to get a lot worse before it gets any better. From this point on, i will take a huge headlong dive into physical agony, hormonal collapse and limping neediness while at the same time, the lives around me will continue to need/want me as much as before. Incredible awe has <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">descended</span> yet again for my mother...my grandmother...my sisters...my friends who have travelled down this road before me, alongside me... and will travel after me....Oh goodness... I have 4 daughters! :) Thank you God for this incredible gift of carrying these little ones of yours. What a blinding treasure. What an amazing thought. Help me to be reminded daily that your own Son Jesus carried and carries all my sorrow, all my burden. He understands what it is to be aching and waiting for the ones He loves. Help me to be quick to return to Him. Help me not to keep Him waiting. <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/all-we-carry-and-who-carries-us.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/all-we-carry-and-who-carries-us.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-11-11T15:01:00-07:00'>3:01 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/6479876492845234957' onclick=''> 1 comment: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/6479876492845234957' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=6479876492845234957&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/God' rel='tag'>God</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Motherhood' rel='tag'>Motherhood</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/pregnancy' rel='tag'>pregnancy</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Saturday, November 8, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='6223852789605130066' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='6223852789605130066'></a> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-6223852789605130066' itemprop='description articleBody'> Well, the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Jespersen</span> Christmas parties have begun as of tonight! November 8<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">th</span>. :) I was so sure that this little one would be in my arms by now but he has decided to stay warm inside and so here i remain. Waiting. The kids have been having fun with Grannie. She ran a watercolor class for the lot of them the first day she was here which was a huge hit. Yesterday she and I went to my Dr's <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">appt</span> with Ellie and Robin and then took to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Ikea</span> to get some Christmas shopping done. I'm sure there won't be much time after the baby comes so I'm feeling very thankful for the little bit I did get done. Curt took Darren to work with him and Grandma Shirley kept Carrie and Sadie.<br />Curt's cousin Jeff and his wife Jess <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Jespersen</span> just got back from Australia so stopped by for a visit last night bearing gifts. :) The kids all got Aboriginal artifacts to paint so that will be another project to conquer during this last little wait for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Hauk</span> to appear. Darren was so excited to try out his boomerang that he headed out into the pitch blackness of the frosty <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">prairie</span> night and chucked it as far as he could. Not sure what he was thinking... if it came back he wouldn't see it till it hit him in the head and as soon as he let go of it, the darkness swallowed it up so he came back into the house empty handed. I didn't find out why he had looked so sheepish <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">coming</span> in last night till this morning when Carrie told me what he had done. Needless to say, there is a small search party happening as i type. Hopefully he'll be able to find it. Ah! It sounds like the little search party has come in the door with the lost treasure! This bleak <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">prairie</span> landscape makes the arrival of this little one seem like such a miracle. In the midst of all the naked trees, stripped, brown <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">alfalfa</span> and wilting green grass frozen with frost, a new little life will burst into the gloom and transform this November into a new focus. Like finding my own little treasure too. Can't wait till I can come bursting through the door with my precious little jewel. <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/well-jespersen-christmas-parties-have.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/well-jespersen-christmas-parties-have.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-11-08T09:09:00-07:00'>9:09 AM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/6223852789605130066' onclick=''> 3 comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/6223852789605130066' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=6223852789605130066&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/babies' rel='tag'>babies</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Motherhood' rel='tag'>Motherhood</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/pregnancy' rel='tag'>pregnancy</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Tuesday, November 4, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='5921496306329855522' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='5921496306329855522'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/are-we-there-yet.html'>"Are we there yet??"</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-5921496306329855522' itemprop='description articleBody'> We've all driven in cars on long trips and asked the driver the two most important questions on a journey: "Are we there yet?" "How much longer?" Today, I'm feeling like the driver of the car on this journey of pregnancy. We're not there yet... and I don't know how much longer! :) The problem is that I don't have a very good answer to the question "When are you due?" Some people said i was due today, some said i would be due on the 10<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">th</span>. The "books" say i could have had the baby 2 weeks ago and that i may go a full 2 weeks after the latest date. Suddenly I feel like <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">i've</span> joined the ranks of my physician. (I'll explain...) I have often thought the past 9 months that her job was much like a psychics. I explained it in an e-mail to my family this way: <em>"I have a Dr. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">appt</span> in the evening.... It's like visiting a psychic that tells you nothing except what you can figure out on your own...."You have gained more weight... you are uncomfortable..... but the baby should come within the month!!!...come again in a week and I will tell you <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">MOOOOOOORE</span>!!!"... </em>My dad called the other night to see if the baby had come. At least you can answer <em>that</em> kind of a question. No. But as if i wouldn't call him up the minute this little one <em>did</em> arrive. This excitement makes me dizzy. The kids keep putting their mouths up to my stomach and telling "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Haukie</span>" to come out. My husband keeps asking me if I'm feeling any contractions, my mom is desperate not to miss the event. She's flying in tomorrow night late. Meanwhile, i feel like I'm preparing the longest turkey dinner for the largest crowd and that the guests are all starving but the turkey isn't ready. Or that I'm going to put on a huge performance and the theater has been full for weeks but I'm not prepared to take the stage..... yet! Today, the stress of the question "Are we there yet" was <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">dissolved</span> in a sudden thought.... People care... people are looking forward to meeting this little one just as much as I am! I have family that loves him already, friends that are <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">interested</span> in the agony of this wait, relatives that are cheering for our family from the sidelines. Friends, Family, Relatives, these are such blessings. They really do "multiply the joy and divide the sorrow." What a blessing to be not driving along this road alone, with no one in the car to ask how the journey is going. God is good. <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/are-we-there-yet.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/are-we-there-yet.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-11-04T15:23:00-07:00'>3:23 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class='post-comment-link'> <a class='comment-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/286351472412220783/5921496306329855522' onclick=''> 2 comments: </a> </span> <span class='post-icons'> <span class='item-action'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/email-post/286351472412220783/5921496306329855522' title='Email Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='13' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> <span class='item-control blog-admin pid-1637045308'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=286351472412220783&postID=5921496306329855522&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'> <img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='https://resources.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/> </a> </span> </span> <div class='post-share-buttons goog-inline-block'> </div> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'> <span class='post-labels'> Labels: <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/babies' rel='tag'>babies</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life' rel='tag'>family life</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/God' rel='tag'>God</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Motherhood' rel='tag'>Motherhood</a>, <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/pregnancy' rel='tag'>pregnancy</a> </span> </div> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'> <span class='post-location'> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div> <div class="date-outer"> <h2 class='date-header'><span>Saturday, November 1, 2008</span></h2> <div class="date-posts"> <div class='post-outer'> <div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template' itemprop='blogPost' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/BlogPosting'> <meta content='286351472412220783' itemprop='blogId'/> <meta content='4972532516250465838' itemprop='postId'/> <a name='4972532516250465838'></a> <h3 class='post-title entry-title' itemprop='name'> <a href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/waiting.html'>Waiting...</a> </h3> <div class='post-header'> <div class='post-header-line-1'></div> </div> <div class='post-body entry-content' id='post-body-4972532516250465838' itemprop='description articleBody'> Why is it that when I get to the end of the pregnancy, I feel like i shouldn't leave the house? There is a nagging thought... <em>company is <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">coming</span>! I have to BE here! I have to be ready! What if this company shows up and I'm not here?</em> Such strange thoughts when this little one has been living inside me for 40 weeks now. Really, he's been with me all that time! He won't be like normal company though!! He'll come naked, unprepared, needy, in need of a wash. He'll<strong> </strong>be blinking like a deer in the bright hospital light, shocked by his new reality. There are different ways people seem to "nest" as they wait for baby. Some bake, some clean, some buy... some do all of the above...one mother i know confessed that her obsession over having her legs shaved for the birth was a huge worry! Now <strong>that's</strong> prepared! :) For all <em>my</em> preparedness, he won't be needing my 50 cups of pulverized <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">tomatoes</span>, lasagnas, pies, buns, casseroles, clean house and updated <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">home school</span>. I've seen the baby shows where the parents go all out and buy thousands of dollars worth of furniture, clothes, things for the babies' arrival. When they finally bring the baby home they "show" the baby all these things proclaiming "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Seeee</span>? We did all this for YOU!" The camera <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">focuses</span> on a squashed, blushing little face fast asleep in the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">car seat</span>, oblivious to his surroundings. Not much of this nesting will do us too much good though besides letting us feel like we are <em>doing</em> something. This little man will not quietly go to his room with the guest towels and sleep through the night! Nor will he care about the decor/toys of his new room. All he needs, all he wants will be found in the people that live in this home...this family. This little bundle of humanity will arrive, change us forever, and suddenly peel another layer of selfishness off of all of us. How does one prepare for sleep deprivation, pain, company showing up when all the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">afore</span>-mentioned foods did not make it out of the freezer for dinner, the pyjamas did not come off all day, and you are on the verge of tears from baby blues. You can't "nest" for that. No matter what i do to 'prepare' for this little one, I know <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">i'll</span> not be ready. This little one will surprise us, break us again and challenge me *again* to be a good mother. How can you prepare to be changed again forever? There is no turning back. This birth represents another commitment to my husband. Another commitment to this family. Another sacred commitment to God to bring this child up to know, love and serve his Heavenly Father. When it all is stripped away, when the food is all eaten, the house is all messy again, the furniture is scribbled on, the toys are sent to Goodwill, the clothes are all outgrown, the only preparation that will last is preparing my heart to recognize that this little one isn't just my own. He belongs to God. Am i prepared to lead him into the loving arms of his Heavenly Father? Jesus, help me to be the mother You see in me. Give me the tools I need to do the job you have blessed me with. Thank you for this new life. I place him, with the rest of my children, my husband and the details of my everyday in your steady, loving hand. <div style='clear: both;'></div> </div> <div class='post-footer'> <div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'> <span class='post-author vcard'> Posted by <span class='fn' itemprop='author' itemscope='itemscope' itemtype='http://schema.org/Person'> <meta content='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' itemprop='url'/> <a class='g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' title='author profile'> <span itemprop='name'>jessica jespersen</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class='post-timestamp'> at <meta content='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/waiting.html' itemprop='url'/> <a class='timestamp-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/waiting.html' rel='bookmark' title='permanent link'><abbr class='published' itemprop='datePublished' title='2008-11-01T14:44:00-06:00'>2:44 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span 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href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2013/04/note-to-self.html'>Note to Self:</a></li> </ul> </li> </ul> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2012/'> 2012 </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(11)</span> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2012/10/'> October </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(1)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2012/05/'> May </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(1)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li 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href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2012/01/'> January </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(1)</span> </li> </ul> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2011/'> 2011 </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(23)</span> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2011/12/'> December </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(4)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2011/11/'> November </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(3)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2011/10/'> October </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(1)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2011/09/'> September </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(7)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2011/08/'> August </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(1)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2011/07/'> July </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(1)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2011/06/'> June </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(1)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2011/04/'> April </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(1)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2011/02/'> February </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(2)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2011/01/'> January </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(2)</span> </li> </ul> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2010/'> 2010 </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(39)</span> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2010/11/'> November </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(3)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2010/10/'> October </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(7)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2010/09/'> September </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(6)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2010/08/'> August </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(8)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2010/07/'> July </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(2)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2010/04/'> April </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(2)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2010/01/'> January </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(11)</span> </li> </ul> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2009/'> 2009 </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(164)</span> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2009/12/'> December </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(13)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2009/11/'> November </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(8)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2009/10/'> October </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(5)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2009/09/'> September </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(4)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2009/08/'> August </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(7)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2009/07/'> July </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(9)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2009/06/'> June </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(19)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2009/05/'> May </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(33)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2009/04/'> April </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(8)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2009/03/'> March </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(24)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2009/02/'> February </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(18)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2009/01/'> January </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(16)</span> </li> </ul> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/'> 2008 </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(23)</span> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/12/'> December </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(17)</span> </li> </ul> <ul class='hierarchy'> <li class='archivedate collapsed'> <a class='toggle' href='javascript:void(0)'> <span class='zippy'> ►  </span> </a> <a class='post-count-link' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/2008/11/'> November </a> <span class='post-count' dir='ltr'>(6)</span> </li> </ul> </li> </ul> </div> </div> <div class='clear'></div> </div> </div><div class='widget Profile' data-version='1' id='Profile1'> <h2>About Me</h2> <div class='widget-content'> <a href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237'><img alt='My photo' class='profile-img' height='80' src='//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCyqnmpDV668nzySnVtyNOZqAcM5KQj_yOLOPAerxUmrRh2JH622kVxaQc9S9MpnoNigV-3sI0rxP_32OeEHDE2qE19AVC9bN7e_ynxcT9wtEkFnU3Np2WXNBCyJjh4NM/s220/14a.jpg' width='57'/></a> <dl class='profile-datablock'> <dt class='profile-data'> <a class='profile-name-link g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author' style='background-image: url(//www.blogger.com/img/logo-16.png);'> jessica jespersen </a> </dt> <dd class='profile-textblock'>I am a married, Christian, Homeschooling, mother of seven. This blog has been kept to remember what life has been like during these fleeting years and to remember all God has done for us. He has been a source of stregth through our son's diagnosis of epilepsy, our daughter's diagnosis of Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis and DI and now again as life continues to change into something that wasn't imagined... He remains the same and is *enough* when we come to the end of all we have left. He is beautiful and my All in All. </dd> </dl> <a class='profile-link' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/09876557664827984237' rel='author'>View my complete profile</a> <div class='clear'></div> </div> </div><div class='widget Label' data-version='1' id='Label1'> <h2>Labels</h2> <div class='widget-content list-label-widget-content'> <ul> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Motherhood'>Motherhood</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/family%20life'>family life</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/children'>children</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/God'>God</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/illness'>illness</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Sadie'>Sadie</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/babies'>babies</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/pregnancy'>pregnancy</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/diabetes%20insipidus'>diabetes insipidus</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/homeschooling'>homeschooling</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/music'>music</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/epilepsy'>epilepsy</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/marriage'>marriage</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/big%20family'>big family</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/siblings'>siblings</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/divorce'>divorce</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/sisters'>sisters</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Langerhans%20Cell%20Histiocytosis'>Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/baseball'>baseball</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/big%20family%20get%20together'>big family get together</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/guilt'>guilt</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/prayer'>prayer</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/dad'>dad</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/horses'>horses</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/poetry'>poetry</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/birth'>birth</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/chemotherapy'>chemotherapy</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/christmas'>christmas</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/cousins'>cousins</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/crafts'>crafts</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/curt'>curt</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/dreams'>dreams</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/farm'>farm</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/gardening%20in%20Alberta'>gardening in Alberta</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/grace'>grace</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/lyrics'>lyrics</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/pigs'>pigs</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/service'>service</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Art'>Art</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Boys'>Boys</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Cats'>Cats</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/God%27s%20love'>God's love</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Offering'>Offering</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Relaxation'>Relaxation</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/chickens'>chickens</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/dating'>dating</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/fatherhood'>fatherhood</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/hair'>hair</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/hormone%20replacement'>hormone replacement</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/husband'>husband</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/joy'>joy</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/kittens'>kittens</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/love'>love</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/mothering'>mothering</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/perfectionism'>perfectionism</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/pro-life'>pro-life</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/projects'>projects</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/relationships'>relationships</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/women'>women</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/worry'>worry</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/40%20days%20for%20Life%20Edmonton'>40 days for Life Edmonton</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Amelia%20Bedelia'>Amelia Bedelia</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Christians'>Christians</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Easter'>Easter</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Gerard%20Manley%20Hopkins'>Gerard Manley Hopkins</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/LCH'>LCH</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Needs'>Needs</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Psalm%2061'>Psalm 61</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/Wants'>Wants</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/abortion'>abortion</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/adequacy'>adequacy</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/animal%20birth'>animal birth</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/birds'>birds</a> </li> <li> <a dir='ltr' href='http://jstarshollow.blogspot.com/search/label/birth%20order'>birth order</a> </li> <li> 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