a fresh start

I've decided to take the example of my mother in law and attempt to eat everything out of my freezer before buying anything more. wonder how long it will take... wonder if my husband will put up with it and for how long. Right now I'm using the left over ham and mashed potatoes to make some smooth hot potato and ham soup...comfort food on a day when i can't blog about the things that break my heart or shame me. Why is it that when I decide to start fresh... do something important better, not make any more mistakes...decide to be firmer, more resolute in my beliefs, make my stand and not budge...that when the day of reckoning comes i decide that maybe it's better not to fight... maybe peace is more important than conscience? (p.s. it's not) In the process of trying to "create" peace by ignoring my better judgement, I've created a boil of sorrow for more than just me. I guess it's time for another 'fresh start'. *sigh* Can't wait for Heaven. In the meantime... there is some hot homemade soup waiting for me...and maybe a few salty tears of self pity to go with.--j