All we carry and Who carries us.

*tears*-not too useful but ever ready since yesterday. The Dr. was so sure of the Ultrasound date of the 4th. I shouldn't have, but got my hopes up. Now a week later, as my own calculated due date has come and gone, the hormones have shifted into tear-gear. I'm hoping that this is a complete chemical shift that will translate into labour pains but my brain ridiculously keeps telling me that the baby has changed his mind and decided not to come after all. Completely illogical. I'm so thankful for my mother who is attacking project after project with the kids as I have suddenly gone from "Confident Wonder Woman" to "Pyjama/Sniffle Wimp Girl." I think the worst part about this snippet at the end of the pregnancy is not so much the desperation of the wait but the sudden knowledge that any pain and loss of control I feel at this moment is going to get a lot worse before it gets any better. From this point on, i will take a huge headlong dive into physical agony, hormonal collapse and limping neediness while at the same time, the lives around me will continue to need/want me as much as before. Incredible awe has descended yet again for my mother...my grandmother...my sisters...my friends who have travelled down this road before me, alongside me... and will travel after me....Oh goodness... I have 4 daughters! :) Thank you God for this incredible gift of carrying these little ones of yours. What a blinding treasure. What an amazing thought. Help me to be reminded daily that your own Son Jesus carried and carries all my sorrow, all my burden. He understands what it is to be aching and waiting for the ones He loves. Help me to be quick to return to Him. Help me not to keep Him waiting.