Therapeutic Massage Anyone?

Curt booked a session for each of us today. His problem is his neck. He just about killed himself last year while driving the bobcat. He did not put his safety belt on and when the shovel hit a manhole in the truck stop parking lot, he went headfirst into the window. He's never been the same since. When his neck acts up, he walks with his head cocked to the side as if he is admiring a fine piece of art.
My problem is my...personality? When i drive, i notice that my shoulders creep up to my ears as though I think if i don't hold on tight, we may be hit. When i lay in bed, I'm tense as though at any moment I may get sucked right off the very face of the earth. It started 3 years ago when Darren was diagnosed with epilepsy. My brain knows the epilepsy is not a big deal but my body has not caught on yet apparently...It is worrying for my brain i guess. This tension has led to month-long, week-long, and weekend-long headaches...giving birth 6 times doesn't do the spine any favours either.
Now that my "massage" is over my back feels like someone beat it with a 2x4. Do therapeutic massages usually start with the therapist pinching you all over as hard as she can? It hurt so bad that i had to suppress giggles. I was staring down through the face-hole in the bed at the brown carpet and purple bouncy ball. Michael Buble was crooning frank Sinatra-ishly in the background...everything was pointing to the fact that this was supposed to be "relaxing" but the things she was doing to my back would have been better set to the tune of Marilyn Manson. Buble started singing "Home". Ah yes, home, where no one pins me down and digs the pointiest part of their elbow into the tenderest fat of my back and then increases pressure so as to leave a permanent indentation. I kept thinking, "Don't scream out in pain...Don't scream out in pain..." and then it struck me what i was thinking and i just gave myself a horrible case of the giggles which were very hard to keep in as she continued pinching and grinding my muscles. It reminded me of wrestling and fighting as a kid. At least no one sat on anyone's head... and you know what happens after that in a full out kids' wrestling match.
When i emerged from the room after thanking the "therapist", Curt was waiting with the kids to switch me spots. I gathered up the kids and started for the elevator. As we pushed the buttons to get on, Ellie looked at me with her head tilted to the side and said "Mom, your neck looks straighter!" At least I got a compliment out of the ordeal! ouch!! note to self: If you ever book a massage make it a relaxation massage and not a "therapeutic massage".