Saturday, February 14, 2009

Needs and Wants and God's love

need: requirement, demand, requisite, obligation, duty, necessity, essential

want: desire, wish, long for, yearn for, be attracted to, set one's heart on, crave

Curt took 4 of the kids to work this morning while i was armed with determination (to get the house clean) and also thankfulness that Curt had left me my happy helpful little Carrie along with the sad Wes. I made up some fried potatos and eggs and coffee while Carrie organized my cutlery drawers for me. (She is a born organizer.) Then we ate off the same plate and sorted out little chocolates for each kid into dishes for when they got home. My mom always seemed to remember to leave a Valentine treat for us growing up and this holiday reminds me of her more than any other. Anyways, As i got the counters cleaned up, and laundry folded Carrie rocked little Wes to sleep in the rocker and one of the things we started talking about was Need and Want. I asked her. Would you rather be needed or wanted Carrie? She said "That's the same thing....isn't it?" Is it? If I just *needed* Curt, but didn't really *want* him would that be enough for him? no. If my kids just *needed* me (to feed them, clean them, teach them) but never *wanted* me would that be enough? no. And yet, sometimes we act as if *neeeeeeding* someone is so much more important. Need usually has to do with the physical it seems: I need to eat or i'll eventually die. I need to sleep or i will get sick and...ultimately die. We need to go to the bathroom every now and then or there could be huge problems...whatever... Really, our needs are basic and few. Our wants are many....Want is not physical but emotional. It fits under the banner of *love*. How many love songs try to make need sound more important. Artists write songs with lyrics that complain that they "can't LIVE" without a person..."I NNNNNEEEEEED you!" But really, is that what we want to hear. I would rather hear, "I could live without you but i don't want to"..."I waaaaaaannnnt you!" The best relationships, the closest relationships are a balance of these two things. I do "need" my husband... but i also "want" him. Wes "needs" me right now...and the flashing moments when i see him "wanting" me make my heart leap. Need brings with it a burden of responsibility on one party in the relationship. One person is dependant on the other. I've seen relationships built on "want" (or love) turn to deep need when sickness, age, sadness fall. If there is a desire, a want, a love for the other person, filling those needs is not as difficult as if there is simply a burden of need and responsibility.
I've been thinking about this lately in relation to God and His relationship to us. Sometimes He calls us to obey and serve. Not because he *needs* us to. He could do it all by Himself. He doesn't *need* us, but he does *want* us. When we become involved in witnessing the work of God, we begin to see His character, His deep, intense love for others that can bring us to absolute speechlessness. When we are called to the forefront of agony to serve, it's not always because we have something to offer... sometimes it's simply because God is inviting us to witness His love... to think again of His deep love...to renew our faith in His love...His love... His *want* for us.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

lovely, lovely, Jess. I do love your heart.

Anonymous said...

This is deep... I want a new rug but do I need it? I was needed for many years but so obviously not wanted... it is nice to have the tables turned and to be both needed and wanted... although sometimes it is nice not to have anyone need you or want you, so you can just have peace and quiet!
I think about the song (not sure who sang it) called "You Needed Me..." I'll see if I can find the words... Saskatchewan Cousin

Anonymous said...

Okay... I found the lyrice to "You Needed Me"

Artist: Anne Murray
Album: You Needed Me

-Artist: Anne Murray
-peak Billboard position # 1 in 1978
-Words and Music by Randy Goodrum

I cried a tear, you wiped it dry
I was confused, you cleared my mind
I sold my soul, you bought it back for me
And held me up and gave me dignity
Somehow you needed me

You gave me strength to stand alone again
To face the world out on my own again
You put me high upon a pedestal
So high that I could almost see eternity
You needed me, you needed me

And I can't believe it's you
I can't believe it's true
I needed you and you were there
And I'll never leave, why should I leave?
I'd be a fool 'cause I finally found someone who really cares

You held my hand when it was cold
When I was lost you took me home
You gave me hope when I was at the end
And turned my lies back into truth again
You even called me "friend"

You gave me strength to stand alone again
To face the world out on my own again
You put me high upon a pedestal
So high that I could almost see eternity
You needed me, you needed me

You needed me, you needed me


Transcribed by Robin Hood


Comments/Interpretations
by Garden girl on 5/28/2008 11:33am
She must be talking about Jesus.
by Gilbert on 11/24/2008 10:10pm
I totally agree, there is no one who can be all that, and do all that at the same time, what a powerful lyrics, it must be from a lost or a sinner's perspective to God that is so humble, willing and able like Jesus.

So there is some food for thought... now NEED to go wash the dishes even though I don't WANT to!!
Saskatchewan Cousin!

mamazee said...

Jess - i loved this, too - that God wants to include me in His work. And you're right, it's not that He needs me anymore than Curt needs the little guys at the animal auction - he wants to bring them along because He wants them along for relationship, to enjoy life with each other - and that's what God wants with me - to enjoy life with me - in this stage, i have been kind of wishing i could get back into my super hungry reading that i was doing - but there is just no time for reading lately, and the Bible is in little bursts instead of books at a time - but God honors those moments with Him, and those quick prayers as i think through things with Him as i go through my day. It's where i want to be, too - although sometimes i know i'm still just calling out "I need YOU!" :)

jessica jespersen said...

He is the most basic need isn't He? Love that Steph. -j