Friday, January 30, 2009
Dreaming of Feasts
I had a strange dream Wednesday night: I was having everyone over for Sunday dinner after church (roast beef). Everyone got there at the same time. I immediately went to the kitchen when i got home and went to get my bearings in the kitchen. Some ladies followed me in to help. They asked what they could do but as i was puttering in the kitchen i realized that i hadn't taken anything out of the freezer the night before... hadn't prepared a salad... no buns... I was ashamed. I looked in the freezer and it was stocked with plenty...i considered pulling out a salmon but even that was going to take too long. I looked out to the dining room and saw that as soon as everyone had come, they had sat down at the table, forks and knives up, starving, ready to eat. I decided that i would have to cancel and tell everyone to go home. I went to the dining room. As the words started to come out of my mouth i looked around. Everyone was so happy and glad to be there. There was a leftover ham on the table that my mom had brought to add to my meal, buns someone had brought, and tiny plants dripping with perfect tropical tomatoes which were brought by some missionary friends who had come to the dinner. I plucked one off and it was filled with juice like a tiny balloon filled with water. I could see through it and it was red with small slit stripes of yellow on in. The tomato burst in my mouth and was delicious, everyone started eating and there was more and more food. My shame and fear evaporated and i slowly sat down to just enjoy with everyone else the huge feast that I had not prepared. I woke up in a panic and embarrassed about not cooking but as the dream all came back to me, tears choked me. The dream spoke to me on so many levels, in every role i fill. The only job i really had anything to do with was the invitation.
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3 comments:
That's beautiful, Jess. I feel like my life is full of experiences like that, but not always expressed so clearly and abundantly.
Once I was at a baptism where they used bowls of water rather than immersion. The minister poured three bowls, one at a time, over the head of the girl being baptised. She knelt on the floor and water cascaded everywhere. There was so much water, soaking everything, though there were only three bowls. It was splashing in the air and on the floor. It was a picture of grace to me, as is your dream.
How wonderful to have a dream like that after your posts over the last week about perfectionism. It never is about us is it? God has touched you in a way so real to you, how amazing. Thank you for sharing with us. Much love Jess
Reminds me of those songs we were trying to think of to go with "wholeness" as a theme. I have dreams like this, too - i think it's a foretaste of heaven - i arrive at a party, it's dark, there's music, and i keep getting closer and closer to something, things keep becoming more and more clear to me as i walk past buildings or little fires, people playing instruments, just jamming and excited and it's something unexpected and so good...
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