Family Update

Wes' feet after his morning splash in the baby pool.

Summer seems to have finally arrived just in time for the tail end of July. It is finally *hot* and *dry* and we are landscaping. Not maybe the best time for it but still exciting even as i watch the new gangly perennials wilt and break. I know that next year they'll come back full force and beautiful. Wesley is enjoying the baby pool, spending his mornings and afternoons splashing with Sadie. Robin dotes on the two little ones, painting Sadie's face with my make-up and doing her hair for her and when we go to ball she makes sure to pack a little purse of treats for the little ones too. I'm always surprised by each child's unique personality bends, and her motherly instinct is such an encouragement to me to continue to work on tenderness. And then there is Carrie. She is my encouragement to not forget that they are all just still kids. :)
Carrie, my practical beautiful farm girl turned 10 this past weekend. She was thrilled to receive Carhardt work overalls, 2 pairs of rubber boots, work gloves, a one man tent, and an ice cream sheet cake adorned with 2 huge stags proclaiming Happy 10th Carrie. Last night when i went to kiss her goodnight, i went in her room to find her crammed in her tent with her bearskin rug under her and her coyote skin for a pillow. As i went out, i walked right into her Sioux war bonnet that was hanging on her un-used bed frame. She adds so much fun to our home. Sadie is doing well on her hormone although I'm getting a clearer picture of how it will actually "work". There will still be days where it will wear off early or she'll be sick and it won't work. For the most part it has been good though and I'm so thankful that. Darren is having a great "low-key" summer, no more seizures and lots of basketball, swimming, fishing and horseback riding. Ellie signs up with whoever is having the most fun. Jumping in dad's truck to go pick up fence posts, staying up late with Darren to watch MacGyver, Playing ball with Carrie, planning a party complete with invitations, music, lights, balloons and gift bags with Robin in Robin's room, inviting herself over for a swim to auntie Shauna's house. :) She knows how to get things going.

The mystery of the missing eggs

It may be old news, but i had to add this story to my blog as i wanted to remember it for the kids' sake. I had great laying hens. They laid white, brown and green eggs. I never knew what i was going to get and i loved the beauty of the little pile of varying eggs that the kids would bring me each morning or evening. I would wash them, put them in a carton and they would usually be used before the case was filled. This is all in the past tense. There is perhaps a little bit of history that needs to be filled in. The last group of laying hens we got were "rescued" from an industrial egg farm and they looked like they'd lived 100 years in the 1 year they had survived their cramped quarters at the farm they came from. We let them roam free in the summer and they laid where they wanted. The kids would go out every day to find the favourite spots and bring in the eggs. We had roosters too and the kids always hoped that one of the "rescued" hens would miraculously decide to go against all they had lived up to that point and actually lay on her prize and become a "cluck" (mother hen). None of them ever did. We hatched out two more batches of laying hens in the living room incubator and bought some fancier varieties to mix up the hen yard, so ended up with more roosters than we wanted. Curt took all the roosters over to his dad's place. (I'm sure he appreciated that cacophony!) Eventually we took a big bunch of them to the auction and sold them to the thrill of the kids. Well, this spring i was enjoying my little handful of daily eggs. It was perfect. Not the HUGE bucket loads we used to get that i had to clean, but about 5 a day, all different. Suddenly though, the eggs quit coming in. The answer was always, "There aren't any out there." or "No eggs today!" I wondered what was going on and finally was informed that my husband and children had conspired against me, had taken the lot of my hens over to Grandpas place where they had access to roosters and were determined to get one of the laying hens to hatch out her own batch of chicks. Not long after that confession, there was excitement. Something had hatched over at Grandpas. Fresh chicks. No incubators with artificial heat and humidity set to the absolute perfect mix, rocking the eggs day and night in my living room, just mama hen, papa rooster and the perfect design of God. Life contained within that shell, sustained by the life of their mother sitting patiently and waiting. New life is so shockingly complex and yet so simply beautiful.

Who's yo mama?

Our Manx cats "Meister" and "Bulls Eye" were pregnant at the same time this spring. On Saturday morning, Robin went out to check Meister and her babies only to find that Bulls Eye had begun to deliver her new baby kits right on top of her sisters' litter! I guess Bulls Eye liked the look of Meister's little nest. Meister was beside herself with motherly care, licking off her sister, her sisters' new babies and purring to beat the band. We separated the batches when Meister looked like she was about to claim all of the kittens for herself. We made a cozy little nest for Bulls Eye in a box close by but when we came out later, Meister's kittens were alone and the two mama's were enjoying the fresh babies together in the new box. Still later the kids went out to find that Meister had switched spots with Bulls Eye and taken over the new brood as her own! We had to pen up the new mama and kits so that they would get their mama's first milk. I am not naturally an animal person but the whole display intrigued me. Funny how animals react to new babies. There is excitement even in the animal kingdom. :)

One of the new little kittens. Three like their mother in color and three white ones--all with tails this time.

Sadie: a water fight of one.

This is a picture of Sadie after a water fight but it closely resembles what she looks like most of the time around here these days. She has been sick with a hacking cough and stuffed nose which translates into ineffective hormone. The hormone is administered by me blowing it up her nose through a tube and it's just not gettin' through. I tried Dimetapp to clear her up before administration but it's still not great. Looking forward to this cold passing so that she can have relief from her "wet and thirsties" The fridge water dispenser is slopping water all over the front of the fridge and floor all day, I picked up 7 cups Sadie had strewn all over in her effort to get what she needs. She sleeps on the floor of our room because she is thirsty all night and needs her pull ups changed 4-5 times a night. (not as many as it was...but still) I was hoping she wouldn't catch Wesley's terrible cold. He's been battling the Dreaded Snots for almost a week but is finally coming out of it. (thank goodness!) Just a simple cold makes life so complicated for her. On a happier note, she is learning to read. :) She decided that she would like to read like the rest of everybody around here so i started her on the 100 easy lessons and we will see how far she goes. Lesson 6 so far so good and she's loving it. Such a happy little one.

John the Baptist and (needless) Wilderness Survival

The other day i popped my head out the garage door to call the kids in for chores. I was stopped short just as i started yelling the list of names when i saw Darren and Carrie standing just outside the door with huge grins on their faces.
"What are you smiling about Darren?"
"Nothing... Is it true that you can eat grasshoppers?"
"Unfortunately yes... now you'd bet.... " I looked down at Darren's hand. He was holding something.
"Darren, did you eat a grasshopper?" (He's 11!)
"Not yet....." (smiling) I stopped and looked at Carrie (almost 10). She was giggling and chewing something.
"Carrie!... Are you eating a grasshopper!??" She grinned at me and kept rolling something in her mouth! Darren laughed and popped the little something that was in his hand into his mouth!
*I screamed*
Darren chews and says
"What?! You just have to take off their wings, legs and head and they aren't that bad... i saw it on a nature show." He grimaced. I kept hooting disgust and Carrie opened her mouth to reveal a Wurthers butterscotch candy! She hadn't eaten a grasshopper after all! Darren didn't seem to care.
"They would be better with wild honey like John the Baptist ate them...now that would be really good!" I hooted again and forgot about chores and went inside. 5 minutes later Ellie comes in the house (she is the resident tattler) "Darren's eating grasshopper butts." "Thanks for the heads-up Ellie."

Nothing can separate us from His great love...

Had a dream about the kids last night. (For those of you who don't normally read my blog, you will need to know, for the sake of the dream, that i have a son with epilepsy and a newly diagnosed 3 year old with "partial central diabetes insipidus")
Was on a long journey to get help for the sake of my children.... sleeping in shallow ditches and hiding from the enemy at night. When we got to where we were going, it was a large open field we waited in. Darren and I were the focus of the dream at this point. We were sitting on a long, wooden bench. Behind it was a curtain where thieves were stashing stolen items. We were surrounded by thieves and robbers and they were a part of where we were coming for help. A loud speaker announced that Darren was buying something. A Daniel Boon lid for something we didn't need or want... 40$ (everyone around laughed.) We were shocked. We didn't ask for, nor want that item, nor want to spend that on a worthless item. The loud speaker announced that we were paying 50$ so our change was going to be one dollar! We were being cheated...over something we didn't even ask for. I took the kids to the "cashier/receptionist" to clear things up. It was confusing... and they didn't want to listen or help. As i was dealing with the lady, Ellie, my 6 year old pointed out a little boy who was standing by the doorway and said to Sadie, "Look, that boy is about your size." As my back was turned, trying to deal with Darren's issue, Sadie went over to meet him. I turned around and a crowd of people were sweeping out the door... and her with them. I asked the lady to wait and ran to get Sadie. When i came out the door, everyone was gone, Sadie was so tiny and in a hospital gown, smiling and gliding towards a nurse in an open doorway. I sobbed, knowing that she was going to die and yelled out "no!"... The nurse was kind and brought me along with Sadie, but when i went through the door Sadie was "gone"...all there was left was to find out why...the dream went on with the process of brain scans, extremely detailed pituitaries with salt crystals floating out of holes along it's scaly length, conversations with doctors with Wesley in my arms and the other children standing...waiting....
Today a package came with the kids' math books for next year and in the package was also a CD that I had ordered because of a song i had heard on our local Christian radio station. I put the song on repeat as i did laundry and sobbed. God's timing is perfect. He knows the fear of a mother deep in worry, who feels "robbed" by illness. Just a timely reminder from God that we are not separated from Him, even in our sorrow, even in our worry, even in our work. He is in the middle of it with us. We belong to Him. Here are the lyrics...I also added it to my playlist.
Not angels,
nor demons,
no power on earth or heaven
Not distance,
nor danger,
no trouble now or ever
Nothing can take me from your great love
Forever this truth remains
I belong, I belong to you
I belong, I belong to you
Not hardship,
nor hunger,
no pain or depth of sorrow
Not weakness,
nor failure,
no broken dream or promise
Nothing can take me from your great love
Forever this truth remains
I belong, I belong to you
I belong, I belong to you...

Tuesday's Filly

My good friend Andrea came over this morning and as she was leaving, noticed a wet little foal out in the field. Sure enough, a new baby buckskin. Here is a picture of Curt's sister Shauna, who dropped by later in the afternoon, and a van load of kids joining the horses in staring unashamedly at the new little babe. I love how horses gather round and stare. We couldn't stay long though as Sadie had to be in to the lab to re-do her blood work. The lab missed checking her sodium and potassium levels on Friday and only did the blood osmolality. I had to wake her up from her nap and take her in for 4pm. She was in a great mood by the time all of us filed in there and I was sure she was going to do a super job like last time. (She giggled all the way through at Ellie the last time.) But in the chair opposite her was a screaming little boy. The longer she waited for her poke, the more nervous she got. Her needle went over with wailing. *sigh*. Andrea, i forgot to tell you "Good Eye!" When someone spots something like a new babe, a deer or moose in the bush, a salamander in the mud, a yummy place to get ice cream they get a "Good Eye!" the compliment can be used to stop the child from repeating it 4000000 times and it can also be used to ignore the fact that you are *not* going to stop for ice cream. haa! In this case, you just have a good eye. ;)

More babies!

Well, the day just kept on building. After the litter of kittens, a second goat delivered another set of twins. Then I got a call from Curt's cousin Jeff asking if i would like to try to rescue 2 baby pigeons. He had a mother pigeon nesting in the roof insulation of the new house he is building. The roof was about to be closed in and he went up to destroy the nest... but there were babies. Darren and I watched videos online as to how to feed baby pigeons, designed a tubed syringe that would go down the chicks' throat to it's crop and gave it a go. It seemed to work fairly slick, but i guess time will tell if these very new chicks will be able to survive. I'm digging out the incubator tonight so that they will have a warm place to stay till their feathers start coming.

Mewling on a Monday

Yesterday, Curt's cousin Jeff and his wife Jessica Jespersen (yes, that's right... and there are more of us by that name too in this family :)) Came over to see the baby goats. Our Manx cat came up for some loving, rolling onto her back as the kids pointed out the bare spots on her tummy where she had shed in preparation for kittens. She looked like a hairy, hard little watermelon rolling around at our feet, so today was no surprise. I sent the kids out to play this afternoon only to have Robin run into the house breathless about 15 minutes later. Carrie had been walking past the pole shed and had heard loud mewing. She ran into the storage corner and sure enough, there were kittens. There was a problem though. Mama Cat had delivered on the wire mesh and the babies had fallen through to other levels and also to the floor as she delivered. Carrie gathered them all up as Darren prepared a straw box and rescued the lot of them to the garage. They were all still soaking wet, tiny and beautiful.

Fathers Day

Happy Fathers day to all you dads who carry little ones high in your arms,
coach their sports teams,
give good advice,
love your wives,
pray for your children,
hike with them in the bushes,
teach them to love Jesus more than any other thing in their life...and to never be ashamed of that love.
Curt you are my treasure. I love you.
Dad, thanks for giving me the kind of advice and example that helped influence me to choose such a great husband and father to these children-- your grandchildren. :) What a great heritage they have because of the life you have built with mom over them in love.

Wedding and a birth

We attended Curt's cousin Billy's wedding (to long-time girlfriend Shelly Dupasquier) today (beautiful!!) and left the kids home with some of the older cousins and a plan for them to hit the bush for a picnic. I had made up a huge batch of chicken and potatoes. When we got home, the kids were watching the goat give birth! Twins. It's been an exciting day around here. :)

Curt moving mom and babe to birthing pen and hauling water with "Rosie" the piggie looking on.

Carrie and Robin discussing whether or not she was going to have a second babe.

Waiting for #2 to arrive.

Some of the cousins.

Forts on a Friday...

Robin's fort walls.

The Jespersen kids.

Ellie

Sadie painting in the bush.

Carrie's fort with their old sign Darren painted when he was in kindergarten. "Wolf Den Tipi"...and her moose head.

Darren's tadpole rescue of the day. The ponds are drying up and these little ones needed a rescue.

Darren clearing some dead branches.

Carrie showing how her antlers make a good seat.

Workout Wednesday

Well, maybe not a traditional workout, but doesn't blasting the Barra MacNeils and singing/jigging around the piano count? Grampsie came for a visit this week and on the last day, he arrived with a tiny toy fiddle that plays set tunes when you touch the bow to the strings. Sadie was delighted and prayed at dinner that she would learn to play her fiddle really well. Tonight, Curt was at ball with the 4 older kids and I stayed home with Sadie and Wes. I set Wes up at the piano to accompany Sadie and then blasted the Barra MacNeils. She praised Wes up continually for his most excellent piano playing and enthusiastically kept up to the blasting tunes. Very fun. I think her little violin was probably playing "Ode to Joy"... but who could tell. :) I will try to find "Don't Call Me Early" by the Barra MacNeils and add it to my play list so you can have a taste of what our evening sounded like...minus some stomping and hooting, piano hammering and electronic Ode to Joy sounds. Warning! It starts off with some accordion but don't worry, it gets better. hee hee (just kidding mom)
...Arg, could only find "Christmas in Killarny" but it's just as fun. ENJOY the instant party brought to you by the Barra MacNeils.

Toothy/Tootsie Tuesday

Wes and his new grin that is changing every day.

Hard to believe that Darren's feet were once that tiny... and clean! The major difference between babyhood and boyhood... clean feet.

Feeling like "Mom"

I've been organizing/purging and cleaning out our books. While collecting them from the shelves, a little Anne Geddes notebook caught my eye. It was bought when i was pregnant with Darren. I opened it and started leafing through it. Mostly it was empty except for a flurry of activity around his birth. After his birth it must have been a shock to my system to try and keep up to any kind of note-taking. First babies... and all subsequent babies for that matter, somehow have a way of consuming all my attention. I have more than my fair share of notebooks that are starved for ink. In flipping the pages though, i came across an entry dated May 13th.

In small letters and scrawled in messy, fast point-form it read:

"These moments made me feel like "Mom"

-snotty nose

-rubbed eyes on my shoulder

-read him a book



That was it. A quick note to remember a fleeting emotion of "feeling like a mom". When Darren was born and they put him in my arms, he was so foreign to me. I didn't have a sense that he was "mine". I guess i had in my mind that some great *feeling* would sweep over me and I would feel forever linked to him immediately, but that didn't happen. Instead, in the day to day fleeting moments, we bonded. A snotty little nose, a fevered head, him falling asleep in my arms for the first time, having him call my name for the first time, reaching out to me. He was always my child, but it was taking time for me to become, or at least feel like a mother. I thought about it for a second. May 13th Darren would have been 4 1/2 months old. I wondered what book i read him. Probably "Guess How Much I Love You". I remember buying it for Darren as one of his first books. Tonight before bed i had read to Darren too. "Watership Down"...another book about rabbits. :) 470-odd pages though instead of a tiny cardboard one about bedtime. I felt like his mama tonight too snuggled up with him on the couch reading out loud. Not everything makes me feel like a mom...but somethings *always* do.

Frogging and Fencing

These are the two main activities around here lately; trolling the ponds for frogs and helping dad put up fencing for the goats who are all greatly pregnant and due. Long live the extended summer break. :)

Sadie update

Got this e-mail from Sadie's nurse this afternoon after wandering through the local greenhouses again in search of tomato cages... and that incredible smell of living things. Routine blood work has been done to ensure that her sodium/osmolality returns and remains within normal range during her introduction to the synthetic form of the anti-diuretic hormone. Mayo clinic results are in:

"Hi Jessica
I just tried calling but you are probably very busy. I hope you had a great time in Vancouver. How is Sadie? How are things going? So, the bloodwork from June 4th results were: sodium 141 (normal), and osmo of 289 (normal). We have received the blood work from California. The results are that the ADH (antidiuretic hormone levels) were detectable. Dr. M--- states that he can not fully explain why the ADH levels were undetectable previously. Dr. M---- states the history, investigations, and response to DDAVP seems consistent with "Partial central diabetes insipidus". In fact, the detectable ADH levels make more sense with the clinical picture of partial central diabetes insipidus. Dr. M--- suggests to continue with the twice daily DDAVP ... ________________________________"

We will have our follow-up appointment on the 19th. Thank you so much to those of you who are praying with us. It is a huge encouragement to *me* and I know to Sadie too.

The "Perfect Curriculum"

I was dreaming about choosing homeschooling curriculum. My last dream before I woke up. I was poring over all the different selections. I couldn't decide. Suddenly my dream changed and there was a walking baby in a one piece jammie. The baby was walking along what was like a stage, there was soft music and the spotlights around the baby were a psychedelic swirl of colors, sometimes focusing on the baby, sometimes the stage, sometimes...hey! There were people all watching the baby, neatly lined on stands. The baby stopped and focused in one one face. A blond woman with pearl earrings and a hot pink skirt and jacket. A bright white light focused on the "mother" which i recognized her to be. (Not that I've ever dressed that way, or seen any mothers who do lately!! :)) She didn't know what to do, how to react, but the baby was "choosing" her, and just kept staring at her insistently. The baby didn't say anything but the camera lens of my dream, which became the baby's perspective, slowly zoomed in on the shocked mother's face and the music grew in volume. It's then that the dream shredded away from me and...
i woke up
to a new sound.
Wesley calling my name from his crib.
"mamamamamamama..."
I'm wondering now if that dream was born out of a comment i heard at the homeschooling conference. "As the mother... You ARE the curriculum."
God has created the perfect learning environment when He created families. (whether we are trying to teach or not) A father, a mother, children... a home. This is His...We are His... this family...but what am i teaching simply because of who I am, what i say, what i do? Lord, teach me to be the mother you would have me be. Let my faith in YOU be obvious by my actions, my words and the life i live day to day. I surrender this "imperfect curriculum", me, into your hands. Let this life of motherhood praise you.

Rediculous Romance

It's 9:48 pm and I'm alone at home tonight with the kids. Curt goes to "Filipino Basketball" Tuesday night. He helps organize this weekly event and does the driving as well. Many of the Filipinos in our area are new to Canada and still do not have licenses.
Anyways, the phone just rang a few minutes ago and i went to answer it. A woman's computerized voice announces with perfect diction that i have a "text to land line" message. Not knowing how this is supposed to work, i wait for instructions. I am to press a number to hear the message. I press the required number and the robotic woman announces the number from which the message is being sent--my husband's cell. Confused, i wait a couple seconds and then i hear the strangest thing. A woman's computerized voice. She relays the message in a carefully slow monotone: "I-- LOVE-- YOU."
I wait.
"If you would like to respond to this message..."
You can't be serious. That was the weirdest "I love you" that i have ever gotten. Romance with a twist of the ridiculous. My favourite kind.

Beauty for Ashes, Strength for Pain

From comments to my last post, I'm thinking it must be a common feeling--that of plummeting to my certain demise. What a comfort, as Christians to be able to reach out and grab hold of His steady hand. No matter how far away *we* feel from His hand, it is never far but always outstretched to pull us in closer in to Himself so that our eyes become focused on Him alone and not the dizzying waterfall of events that fill our lives. I remember my sister Steph talking about going into the hospital to have her first baby. She said that she felt the natural battle of "fight or flight" going on in her mind and at one point was ready to tell her husband Travis to just grab the bags and they could run away together...away from the pain. Interesting how instinct can move us to make decisions regardless of reasoning. In life, sometimes, there is no "escape". The pain is inevitable. So far, I've run away, hidden, fought back but probably the most popular of my reactions to pain so far has been to hold onto it with the grip of death. What I'm finding though is that God *does* have a way of prying my fingers off of the pain that i hold so tightly, and lifting the burden into His own keeping....and maybe as i let go, that's when he slips a little of His own strength into my hand to take the place of the burden. I hope that by the end of my life, he won't have to pry so hard to force me to let go of my suffering and that my hands will be open for Him to fill with His strength, which is made perfect in my weakness. I was thinking about Isaiah 61 this morning. Beautiful that Jesus would have chosen to read this passage as his first public "sermon":

Isaiah 61
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me,
for the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor.
He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted
and to proclaim that captives will be released
and prisoners will be freed.
2 He has sent me to tell those who mourn
that the time of the Lord’s favor has come,
and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.
3 To all who mourn in Israel,
he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
that the Lord has planted for his own glory.

(Nuclear) Family Reunion and Free-Falling

Just got back from the homeschooling conference. Really, it was more of a mini family reunion to me than a homeschooling event. The picture I wanted of all 5 of us (Mom, Dad, Steph, Paige and I) I didn't get. I did get one of Mom, Dad and one tiny representative from each of our families though and it's an interesting shot to me. Mom and Dad took turns "strollering" the babies to sleep and mom bought each little one a new outfit at the Sears sale across the road from the convention. Dad introduced and treated us all to the mouthwatering BEEF VINDALOO(?) at Moxie's. Such Herculean effort to dine out with 3 babies, one of whom was teething, but we did... more than once. :) mmmmmmmm..No cooking/cleaning, lots of eating! While we were sitting at Earls eating our last lunch out together the song "Free Fallin'" started to play. Not Tom Petty's version but John Mayer's new version. I know the song is about a philosophical bad boy...but when the chorus hit with it's repetitious "free fallin'" lyric, John Mayer was singing "my song". I've been telling Curt for months that as soon as all of these doctors appointments for Sadie are done with, we are going to run away to the bush together as a family. After this little recent trip out west I'm starting to realize that a quick getaway won't leave our problems in the dust, won't take the knots out of my spine, the ache out of my heart or the worry from my mind. The song "Free Fallin'" keeps resurfacing, so tonight I'm going to take captive that very attractive idea of just spiraling into a pit of "free-falling" despair and cling to what i know to be true:

"The Lord delights in the way of the man whose steps he has made firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand." Psalm 37:23, 24

"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." Psalm 55:22

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God." Psalm 40:1,2,3