While feeling woozy this morning i started leafing through my well worn copy of "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and came across the headline Having A Baby After 35. I lazily skipped over the words.
"Blah, Blah, Blah, statistics, whatever, i don't buy that... that's a bunch of crap."
Then these two statements stood out for me and have been niggling at me all morning now. (Yes, I'm 35 and yes, I took offense for the sake of my child.)
pg. 29 if you have a copy:
"Should an abnormality be discovered, the parents *must* then decide with input from genetic counselors, pediatricians, maternal fetal subspecialists , and other professionals, whether to terminate or continue the pregnancy."
And this one:
"...--today's older mothers have a lot going for them. Medical science, for example. Screening for birth defects can be done in utero through amniocentesis, chorionic villous sampling, ultrasound, and other newer procedures...and can potentially reduce the risk of bearing an infant with a severe birth defect to a level comparable to that of younger women."
Now, let me get this straight. The GOOD news for the older mother is that, should their baby have some sort of birth "defect", the medical community is ready and willing to councel her through her IMPORTANT decision to kill her child. The killing of these "defective" babies born to older mothers will therefore, lower their risk of ACTUALLY giving birth to a "defective" child, and makes their risk of delivering an "imperfect" child the same as a "young" mother? These same people are probably opposed to the death penalty, Hitler's regime of racial arian perfection, and genocide, maybe even abortion for sex selection... but killing a baby because you decided it just somehow doesn't fit into the family picture you always dreamed of?...no big deal. "Terminate and try again." Maybe next time you'll discover that you are carrying a life that's "worthy".
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6 comments:
well-spoken. I've often had trouble with that whole concept, too - so disposable are our children, apparently... :( Makes me angry.
BTW, I have a good friend whose children are now grown... she and her husband both have the same "fatal defect" chromosome - not sure what it's called, but I know that's not the right term - but when combined, gave them something like a 25% chance of having a baby who wouldn't live... and the chances increased with every birth. They didn't know about this abnormality when they had their first baby... when the baby was born, the doctors wheeled her out to take care of her because it was obvious something wasn't right... and then they came back a short while later to tell them their daughter had died.
Their second pregnancy ended in an early miscarriage - around 10 weeks - unsure of why.
I think it was at this point that they found about the chromosomal issue... but it didn't matter to them; they kept trying.
Their third and fourth pregnancies resulted in absolute miracles - a daughter and a son. Both in college now. They both are very healthy and 'normal' by societal standards.
Their fifth pregnancy ended like the first... but of course by this time they knew about the genetic probability and a mid-pregnancy ultrasound was very conclusive that this baby was going to have the same fate as the first. They were advised to terminate.
They didn't. They gave birth to their daughter, who lived for about an hour or two, I believe... bones terribly twisted and organs undeveloped... but so beautiful anyway.
life is precious.
you never know what God will teach you through these trials.
you never know who else's life will be touched by God's hand through it.
These wee ones - no matter how long we are graced with their presence for - are beautiful and *loved*.
I love your & Curt's persepctive on all of this... I wish more couples could be on the same page.
Blessings,
M.
Thanks Jess- it's good to keep bringing this cultural blindness to light. I have three friends that both carried babies with anomalies to term, but were strongly advised not to while at mid-pregnancy, with the advice being "*Most* people would terminate." All had different outcomes, all equally miraculous though one ending in a loss one year later. They would never ever trade their experience- one even said she that with the miracles in others and the lives changed becasue of here baby, she wouldn't change the diagnosis if she could have. Wow. The babies' names? Mercy, Grace & Asher (happy & blessed)- says it all, doesn't it?
I have such deep respect for these families and the courage to stand against cultural & medical norms and choose life- at all costs.
Your words are perfect...why don't more people see this?
We choose life too...and avoid ultrasounds and Dr.'s for that matter...lol
Bless you as you grow your sweet babe!
Hey I just realized this said 'part 1' - does this mean there's a part 2 coming? Looking forward to it!
loved this, jess..
thing is, it's not just babies, it's *people* in general that we think are disposable or pests.
and we are (pests, i mean!)
but we are also God's plan for this planet, plans to bring good and healing and to bring Him glory. Some by their long life and accomplishments, and some by their tiny contribution that still made many think and consider the worth of one human life.
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