Sorrows divided on a Tuesday

Sadie had a hard night. I cuddled her into a morphine sleep and she woke up in pain at 3 am needing more. The nurse came and gave her what she needed and i cuddled back in with her until she nodded off again at 4... and then couldn't get back to sleep myself. I turned on my phone and sent a message to an old friend i recently re-discovered. Lisa wrote me back 7 minutes later...she has been down the cancer/chemo road many times and is in the middle of another fight. There is nothing like sharing pain with someone who has been where you are...and has travelled down the road where you are headed... who is up at 4 am because they are hurting too.

After a long day of pet/cat scans, hormone stimulation tests and meeting more specialists and nurses than I've ever met in my life, Dr. B decided that it would make sense to send us home for the night. Sadie's chemo wasn't going to be ready until 9pm tonight and then we would have to stay the night again and they needed our room for another family from Calgary. I was thrilled to go home... one more day to let the reality of the coming chemo sink in. One day with all of us back together under the same roof before this sharp turn.

Curt came and picked us up and drove us home. The kids ran out to meet us and Ellie wrapped herself around me in a bear hug. So happy to have us home. When we came in the door, Sadie's face lit up to see the huge banner Grampsie had made with her brothers and sisters "Welcome Home Sadie!!" And then we melted into the mundane. Games of crib, music, books, quading, feeding the goats, snuggling on the couch, and I snuck around stealing each one of the kids off to a little corner of the house for a "one on one." Darren wanted hugs and he wanted me to read his latest writing for school and help him with some music. Robin wanted to talk about what a great teacher gramps was. Ellie wanted to tell me how independent gramps was letting her be while working on her math. Wes wanted to cuddle and have books read to him. Eva wanted to nurse. My oldest daughter Carrie melted into tears on my bed. "Mom, she's all bent over when she walks... she's so little and in pain. I didn't think it would be this bad." We talked like friends... like equals... sharing pain. I thought of my newly "re-found" friend Lisa and explained the old quote to Carrie that says "Let it be that a joy shared is a joy multiplied and a sorrow shared is a sorrow divided." Thankful for family and friends who have chosen to divide this sorrow amongst them and bear this burden with us. Thankful for Lisa who lets us divide her sorrows... Thankful for sorrows divided on a Tuesday.