These 5 days are usually filled with what i call the "layers of pain"... one pain subsides only to introduce me to another one that had been waiting it's turn.
The lungs... not being able to fill all the way from the strenuous job of pushing.
The strange "emptiness" of a womb that had only days before been filled to capacity.
The afterpain contractions brought on by nursing, and the fullness that arrives around day 3 as colostrum eases out and milk enters with a bang.
The mystery of tears...also for me a phenomenon of "day 3".
The aching of muscles and bones as they learn to carry this new distribution of weight.
The incredible sensation of overheating and "sweating it out", (If i try to cool off i go into uncontrollable shivering that brings intense pins and needles and eventual itching in my palms and feet. I've decided to just ride the waves of heat.)
My aching heart for my husband to stay close-by.
...of course there are pains that will remain nameless...
Pregnancy and Birth have a way of stripping a woman down right to her core and starting her all over.
I am now a servant to this needy little one.
I am to
Bend...until I am laying dependant in the arms of my Heavenly Father.
and then
Break...so that my grip on my own selfishness is again retrained.
These 5 days have also included 2 of my other children becoming very ill with the flu, and 3 others suffering from hacking coughs and sore throats. Mom, if you read this... thanks for being here. You continue to bend and break to make room for my life as well. love you. -j
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2 comments:
I remember quite well the night I cried myself to sleep as the hormones raged, the milk poured in and the bones that ached (and other 'parts' that ached)...
sooooo worth it tho...
It is a priviledge really to be allowed to participate in the first few days of such a precious new life. And it is a priviledge to be your mother and to be allowed into the events that make up your life. I love you.
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